CricketBeautiful
Forum God
I am a Zark.
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Registration Date: 04-04-2004
Posts: 1211
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It's something I've struggled with for a while, on this group and others.
Most groups, no matter how focused, end up with personal tidbits thrown in. Often, it's bad things that have happened, sometimes bad things that might get worse. Good things don't have the same urge to be shared.
Sharing of bad news is perfectly understandable. There's a rock over his head, hanging by a thread. It's pretty hard to ignore. And so even when he's taking a break, especially in a group where he's comfortable, he ends up mentioning it.
And, our hearts drop. We respond, usually with hugs and chicken soup. Sometimes with helpful advice and comments, sometimes with stuff that's intended to be helpful but isn't. And a part of our hearts is committed to the cause, to making that rock just a little bit lighter, to deflecting it just that tiny bit and make the situation bearable.
I don't mind being shown the falling rock, or being asked for a hug or support or time off, or whatever it is the person needs. I offer my that part of my heart freely, knowing that someone will do the same for me. This rant isn't about being shown the rocks.
It's about the next weeks and months. We walk carefully around the person. We don't want to ask and open bad memories. We want to respect his privacy.
But meanwhile, there's a part of our heart missing, a part that we can neither reclaim nor mourn.
For the first person, the rock has landed and rolled away. Life moves on.
But the rock is left hanging over a piece of my heart.
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
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03-01-2006 15:30
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