imaqtz
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I am a Condor.
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Registration Date: 17-07-2001
Posts: 1049
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My near 16 year old daughter truly scares me at times.
Whereas some kids will have tantrums, slam doors, locking themselves inside the sacred sanctity of their bedrooms, cursing their parents, after being refused to extend curfew hours at their first party past 1am, *my* daughter sees fit to involve us in a near two hour debate on the issue then bash her frustrations at the injustices incurred by adolescence and age limits on her keyboard.
Whats scarier are the issues and real frustration and anger, raised in this "rant" which she emailed to me after our two hour debate . It worked. , and a compromise was reached eventually.
Apart from having solved the curfew prob,( and the fact I coudlnt help admiring, even in an jawdropping way ,her depth of maturity and use of language, which is something that not even I have mastered yet!), her "rant " really did make me think..
made me think about "acting your age"
Do you act your age? Should age restrictions apply to laws of society? when are you considered too young or too old for certain situations?
hmmm.. I share with you my daughter's rant..if you can share your thoughts on this?
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In a society where 40 has become the new 21 and you are never too old to live out your youth, have we somehow made it impossible to determine and define maturity, and can we still base it on the sole premise of age?
When you are a teenager there are so many of life’s little niggling unexplained and incredibly confusing mysteries which you apparently will never completely understand until you are “older”. You are constantly thrown phrases like “that is so typical of you-being a teenager and all...” and “you’re simply not mature enough yet”. However when exactly are you ‘mature enough’? What exactly is that magical age you hit and instantly grow wiser, more responsible and incredibly mature beyond belief?
It is commonly thought that you hit this magical age and officially become what society prefers to refer to as ‘the adult’. Unfortunately however, I cannot help feeling somewhat confused. Just looking around I find myself questioning just how much truth lies behind this statement.
You apparently begin the ‘transition into adulthood’ at the ripe age of 18 and you are officially an adult at 21. But can you honestly base maturity, wisdom and the amount of acquired common sense on nothing more than age? This seems hardly fair, and furthermore seems a little like the ‘adults’ are constantly getting the upper-hand.
Being an adult means being allowed to drink, drive, raise a family, and get married, and sustain and maintain a suitable career. It seems however, that in our society new privileges are being added to this already lengthy list. The “adults” of our day are able to; stay in school and qualify for a university degree even at the age of fifty, date the younger breed of the opposite sex without any humiliation, listen to modern music as if it were their own and carry on as if they were still the same ‘hooligan teenagers’ just like we were all “back in their day…”.
The teens of our day are becoming more and more confused. With the number of mothers going out to buy naval rings rising at a scary rate, and 40 year old fathers becoming regular members of nightclubs in the city also on the rise, it seems as though it is in fact the child who is made to be the “adult” in some situations. But is generation x truly to blame for the sheer fact that they were all unable to live out their youth? How long has this cycle gone on for? And more importantly how much longer will it continue?
How can we as the teen ever get it right? We are the adult when you need us to be there to cook or to stay home or to think about grocery shopping but when we wish to have a taste of the more favourable and glamorous image of being ‘the adult’ we are shut down completely- Such a contrast to the way of life for the adult of our society. Permitted to indulge in the lifestyles of both the rebellious adolescent and yet also able to have fun with the great privileges that come from being so much more “wise” and “mature”.
It seems as though this is indeed a fight which is impossible to win let alone completely comprehend. And so, I personally bow down to all of the “adults” out there. Congratulations, you’ve managed to stump us all and then when we dare question one of you about the ever confusing other dimension which is adolescence in comparison to adulthood you bar our question and simply reply us with a witty line like “your just a teenager, you will understand once you are older”.
But I have successfully managed to uncover these truths and unmask all of your lies and now I wait as I sulk and whine in my dark room, overally polluted by angst and “teen spirit”, for the pack of adults to come in and kill me for now I know too much, and yet surprisingly…am not satisfied not even a little.
*sigh*
*sulk*
*puts on an angry angsty type song and slowly gets into the routine of banging head against the wall*
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
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20-12-2004 17:56
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CricketBeautiful
Forum God
I am a Zark.
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Registration Date: 04-04-2004
Posts: 1211
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bit random, but some thoughts:
Oh, Imi, you made that fatal mistake of encouraging her to use her brains, listening to her, and giving her alternatives to tearing things apart when she doesn't get her way.
My grandmother apparently believed that 21 was magic. Not that she assumed that aging was sufficient -- she did teach her kids thtools -- but at 21, they suddenly 'passed'.
Good point about the adults doing youth things. "Do it now while you still can," just doesn't mean the same thing.
Though, to me, adulthood means your responsibilities affect others who can't pick up if you drop, and they don't stop at summer break.
There's always the tallk show guest daughter, age 15: If you had trusted me more, I wouldn't have *had* to take the car on that 1 a.m. joy-ride with my boyfriend last month that ended up in the ditch.
Face it, ladies, Little Imi's got perserverence, a good, safe way to both let off frustration and get her piont across, and brains. And a safe place to fine-tune them before she has to rely on them without the safety net.
I think adulthood begins when you hear your mother's voice in your ear, acknowledge that it has some merit, adjust your self-made safety net in case she was right, and then make up your own mind, and, even if you make the same decision she would recommend, you still see it as your decision. It includes realizing that 5 hours of chores a week, on top of schoolwork,
Maybe it's the first time you watch someone younger than yourself
try to explain to her that a year or two will make a big difference in how she sees it -- how does this apply to curfew?
hey, my 6-year old is old enough not to get too upset when his little sister acts her age and insists on playing her way, bot thinks it incredibly unfair that he has to set the table.
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
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03-01-2005 19:02
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Mallanox : "My mother was Irish and my father was an alien. I was an only child and I dress funny." 
, she'll begin to understand why "adults" today (and tomorrow) appear to be so "teens"....
