"Emotionally secure voluptuous woman is seeking open-minded guy for passionate evenings out with adventurous mornings after. Contact Buffy care of Gatchamania if interested. "
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Hehe. I found this on another BBS I belong to!
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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
Athletic......................................No tits
Average looking....................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist..........................................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
Fun..........................................Annoying
New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned.............................No BJs
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Professional....................................Bitch
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
40-ish.................. 52 and looking for a 25-yr-old
Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking...... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit.............. Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun....................... Good with remote and a six pack
Good looking........... Arrogant
Honust.................. Pathetic Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................... Until you get to know me
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your sister but
she's not interested
Physically fit............ I spend a lot of time in front of the
mirror admiring myself
Poet....................... Has written on a bathroom wall
Spiritual.................. Once went to church with his
grandmother on Easter Sunday
Stable..................... Occasional stalker, but never arrested
40-ish.................. 52 and looking for an 18-yr-old
Athletic................ Pigeon chested, skinny whippet legs
Average looking...... Not good looking
Educated............... Is always right
Free Spirit.............. Sleeps with anyone
Friendship first........ If your too ugly
Fun....................... When can be bothered
Good looking........... Arrogant, smug git
Honest.................. Pathetic Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................... Until you get to know me
Open-minded........... Would like you, your sister and possibly your mother if your all under 40
Physically fit............ On roids
Poet....................... Has read but not wrote
Spiritual.................. weirdo
Stable..................... can't get anyone else, no self esteem
I was trying for G5 but got Rat Bastard instead....
__________________
"If you think I am a Condor, you may keep that opinion;
Though I am no Condor, my Skylines rusty enough."
22-06-2004 19:08
Firebird
Princess Firebird..... Goddess of Swannie Fics
I am a Swan.
63 fics uploaded
Registration Date: 01-07-2002
Posts: 3689
Though anyone answering G2's add needs to make sure they are immortal or at the very least bullet proof and have lots of life insurance with a will already made up.
Love all the guy ones some are so very very true!
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned
Originally posted by Tengu
The people who put these ads up are losers.
Errr....Only if yer unwilling to settle.
Buffy busily writes a reply to Mr. G2@ISO...complete with perfume, 3 x 5 glossies (touched), room key, and a pair of lacy unmentionables inclosed, all the while humming 'I shot the sheriff' under her breath....(and secretly contemplating a speedy getaway in Sweetheart afterwards)
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