Nose Cola Warnings

I've been working on an episode rewrite when my mind went off on a different tangent. It occurred to me that, when a fic has a nose cola warning, there's usually no way to tell how strong the warning is -- it could be something that causes a slight chuckle or something like my legendary stuff. (I'm sure many of you can come up with at least 5 examples off the top of your heads without thinking.)

The thought that came to my mind was have a nose cola ranking, something like what is used for hurricanes or tornadoes. Any thoughts?

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“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury

I think nose cola is probably a rank in and of itself - I mean, it warns you that you might sneeze cola out of your nose, and for a reader to do that, it needs to be pretty funny.

Humour is subjective. If a story has a 'humor' tag (since most archives and websites use the oxymoron "American English") then it's up to the reader whether they take the risk.

Caveat lectorum

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If you see me talking to myself, just move along: we're having a team meeting.

Or we could create a thread called "The Nose Cola Room," (along the lines of the Rubber Room) where people could post fics which carry the nose cola risk. Naturally, the nose cola rating would be up to the author.

If you wanted to have Nose Cola rankings, might I suggest:

1: 1-3 tissues (a mild snerk with minimal cleanup);

2: Kitchen towels (nose cola occasioning a spray); and

3: "Oh, shit, my keyboard!" (desktop version) OR "I'm so sorry, sir or ma'am. Here, take my handkerchief." (For those using mobile devices, particularly on public transport.)

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If you see me talking to myself, just move along: we're having a team meeting.