Hello, My Name Is Buffy, and I'm an Internet Addict

I was having problems with this for a while. Problems bad enough for me to be having marriage problems, and enough for me to start seeking avenues of professional help.

It never occured to me what the problem was. I just thought it was depression. I thought it was laziness. I thought it was any number of things but....I ran across an article that happened to be headline news: "Growing Menace to Business Productivity: Internet Addiction" Or some such title like that.


Click! There was a new disorder out there? Internet Addiction? Holy Cow. I looked up more info. Here is one site I found.

Internet Addiction


I think the problem is very widespread. I also feel that few people have given much thought to the possibility. What are your thoughts? How many of you can consider yourselves clinical internet addicts?

I mean, sure, we all joke about it, but how many of you feel you fall into the category and also feel it is a serious problem in your lives?

A recovering addict wants to know!

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"Spider sense....tingling."

Hello Buffy and Cep

* stands up and clears throat*

Hello, my name is Van...oops sorry, I almost used my RL name. My name is Lolabella, and I am also an internet addict...

Ah yes! I tell myself every morning that I am going to wait until the lunch hour to log on to Gatchamania.net. I think the longest that I held out was about 1/2 hour. I know one of these days I am going to get caught writing fanfic. Although, I do write software documentation, so the chances are slim. Meaning: If I have a word document up, then they higher-ups would need to look really close to see what I am typing.

Yesterday, I spent a good portion of my afternoon on Chat. The Alt and Tab key have simultaneously become my best friends. As of right now, internet activity is not observed in the office. Our Network Administrator is my good friend and he surfs more than I do. He promised to let me know if the higher ups ever want to monitor....

I guess I have resigned myself to the fact that I surrender to the strength of the Gatchaman. It is my weakness...

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You mean there is life outside of the Internet??

(Gets out her Really Useful Astrobiology handbook...)

Impossible!

EVERYTHING is on the Net, this theoreticaly means NOTHING is outside the Net.

QED

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"If you think I am a Condor, you may keep that opinion;
Though I am no Condor, my Skylines rusty enough."

Its not the Internet that is the problem, its other people around you, methinks.

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"If you think I am a Condor, you may keep that opinion;
Though I am no Condor, my Skylines rusty enough."

Me, I'm borderline, I think. Was pretty bad for a while, but I've got some checks in place for the worst of it.

Then again, I might be in denial, based on how I really don't want to use glitter with my son right now (not that I ever like using glitter), and how I keep saying "I really want to work on my fic" and then check the boards first, effectively using up my free time and getting no writing done.

A very, very quick scan of the article Buffy indicated, before printing it for reading offline, shows one thing I agree with -- it's not the internet, so much as my personality, or maybe the way it gets hijacked.

I'm equally likely to ignore the kids and housework when I'm reading a good book, or writing and balancing foreshadowing and the main action and characterization, or working on a post that needs serious editing, or watching a good show, or even doing needlepoint. Or when the muses strike and I play a scene out in my head. When first married, and unemployed, I'd ignore my job search for hours watching TV. When pregnant with my second, I'd ignore my son for hours while reading. I ignored my family big time for most of a year writing my first big fic (in the third rewrite at the moment). And then there was the summer of the RP -- you think one muse is bad, try letting yours gang up with your friends'!

For the boards, it's a combination of dreading the backlog if I'm away for more than a day or two, and thinking (wrongly) that people are relying on me. (Cep, Firebird -- if my gal's not doing anything, assume she's following you. If she's unconcious, either drag her along, or leave her where she is and I'll rescue her myself.)

So, boards, shared universes, writing, reading, connecting, chatting, RP. Lots of things to get addicted to, all falling under the heading "internet".

The internet isn't at fault; it's just a tool, and one that we can take more control over than most things that are addictive.

I've tried setting rules for myself. Some are more respected than others. "Turn it off when" doesn't work except for "when you've gotta cook really fast to get the kid to Beavers on time."; "keep it off" usually does.

Time with the kids? Find I have to have something that needs doing with them (like reading practice) or go out of the house. So, that's what we do. I also invite the kids' friends over and I've made friends with the bus stop Mommies. Interesting, though, how friendships here tend to short-circuit a lot of the hesitation; online, we seem to judge people faster, and confess things easier.

And it's a matter of degree and perspective. Bad habit or addiction? Necessary break from work, or way to avoid something that needs doing? Support group that helps you regroup and move on or something that holds you back?

Addictions aren't necessarily bad. This place, books, and TV are nice breaks from the demands of the day; they let your brain rest and recover. Fiction lets you explore life in safety. Love is needed to keep a family happy together through the tough times. Exercise keeps you fit and healthy.

The problem happens when we can't control it. Sometimes, it's because of a chemical that's introduced, like drugs. Sometimes it's a chemical your brain makes, like oxytocin or seratonin or exercise endorphins. Sometime it's just a habit that you're comfortable with; moving out of comfort is scary.

Or if an addiction causes us to ignore other problems, like the guy you love is making you miserable, or is missing you. There's even a level of mild depression that's actually quite comfortable, until you realize that the short break has become a fear of trying new things.

Until very, very recently, I was addicted to role-playing scenes in my head; the characters appeared whenever I was bored, and my muses were off. Replay the same emotional scenes with minor and major variations. Not quite sure how I kicked it, but talking with a friend who had just kicked the same problem helped, as did an afternoon picking glass shards out of the park with my son, forcing myself to not be bored, doing a needlepoint piece that I had to concentrate on, reading ten novels in a week, and forcing the characters to move beyond those scenes -- ended up with a situation I couldn't resolve in character, and my muses went off to regroup.

Another thing that helped was taking the emotions I enjoyed from the fic and applying them to real life. If I can feel that way thinking about A being with B, certainly I can feel that way thinking about me being with hubby and family. Maybe not the uncertainty bit, but the joy and comfort. That brings up a whole other issue -- moods can often be controlled by conscious will. Not always, and sometimes you need a middle step, such as leaving the room and calming down rather than yelling, but often enough that it's worth a try.

Just my ten cents,
Cricket

__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

- Viktor E. Frankl

well done Cricket hehe

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Thanks Cep

Gatchamania.net Administrator

addiction is when you've spent all night hard role playing with somebody, with a single minded focus that would do a psychopath proud, only tearing yourself away to have a cold shower and trundle off to work - to come home and start it all up again.

i have confessed secrets on this thing that i would refuse, on principle, to share with a registered therapist. seduced and suckered and blinded with the need to reach and *hold* onto something that i think i've found here, illusion that it is.

addicted is somewhat too mild of a word - i go through periods of such intense absorption that i defy that piddly little concept.

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Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead.

Does this mean that because I prioritise sleep above internet use that I'm not an addict after all? I just have a compulsion for continued use?

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Mallanox : "My mother was Irish and my father was an alien. I was an only child and I dress funny."

Good set of links, Buffy.

Especially like this one:
To Get What You Need

Sorta explains a lot about the last 12 months. Oh, man, some of it is close enough to home to hit a nerve, but far enough in the past that I can actually see it.

Like his idea for keeping things healthy -- don't separate online from real life. You've got one life, and the more interconnected the better.

Cricket

__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

- Viktor E. Frankl

__________________
Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead.