So sorry to hear about your cat Victoria. I lost a pet a few years back, it's hard. At least she is in a better place where she won't suffer.

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Hang in there, Gatchaman

I'm sorry Victoria. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers so far...

*huge hugs* Grief sucks and hurts ... I'm sure she's curled up now somewhere in your garden in the sun, content that she's cared for and got to have a home.

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Eagle Whisperer

Give yourself time, Victoria. There's been a major change in your life.

Back when I was 16, one of my dogs died in my arms as my mom and I were rushing to the vet; we had three other dogs, and I kept feeling incredibly guilty because I continued to get four treats to give them before I'd go to school. But I eventually adjusted, and you will, too.

You just have to be patient with yourself and stop second-guessing what you did. Your kitten wouldn't hold anything against you, and neither should you.

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“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury

I'm sorry about your cat, animals are family members and losing them is just as hard as losing any other family member. Do you have access to a grief counselor? I don't think you are over reacting, but you may be overwhelmed, if I read your previous post correctly. One lose may be bearable, but having one on top of another can wear anyone down.

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Perspective Alters Reality

I'm so sorry to hear that she passed away.
You're not overreacting, Victoria.
When I lost my puppy I didn't attend to the university classes almost two weeks.
Let yourself release tears enough. As Amethyst advised, I recommend to see a counselor because you'd been through too much sadness recently.
Mental illness should be treated just same as physical injuries.

Don't be so hard on yourself. It has barely been a week now since you lost your kitty. It takes time to grieve and there is no set timetable for how long that timetable is. It has not even been 6 months since you lost a parent. I lost someone who was a parent to me in all but name back in April as well and I still tear up at times thinking her. Everyone grieves in their own way for their own amount of time. Just because the loved one you lost was not human does not make it any less of a loss.

It is human nature to second guess yourself. Would taking her to the vet that day instead of going to work have made a difference? Maybe yes but maybe no as well. Taking her back in might not have made any difference. A case in point, we had a cat who became diabetic. No matter what we did we could not seem to get the diabetes under control. One day our vet was unavailable and the cat crashed so we took her to the vet schools 24 hour emergency clinic. The vet student examining our cat noticed that she could not feel the cat's kidneys so called in the attending vet. Come to find out the kidneys were so completely covered with tumors they were no longer recognizable. We ended up losing this cat to kidney cancer not the diabetes but we lost her just the same. In your case there may have been something else wrong with your cat and that kept her from getting better just like our cat had the cancer that was interfering with the diabetes treatment. In your case like mine no matter what you did the end result might have been the same.

I know it doesn't feel much like it now but it will get better with enough time. All I can do is say how sorry I am for all the loved ones you have lost recently, hope that what i have said helps a little(and didn't offend) and send you more virtual hugs.

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No matter how much cats fight there always seem to be plenty of kittens.