amethyst
Wanted: $1000 Reward
I am a Condor.
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Registration Date: 15-07-2009
Posts: 6248
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Sorry for my inactivity, I've been lurking, but not much else. However, life has built up to the point that I need to vent, and at least here, I won't offend family.
Warnings for:
Language
Family Bull Shit
Medical squickyness
So family first....
My brother, wonderful selfish ass, remarried the cheating tart and they moved to Texas in November leaving me to deal with mom. Evidently they expected that the offer to take her with them would be taken seriously. Personally, I think it was offered because they knew she'd reject it, absolving them of responsibility. I'm seriously considering tagging them in a nasty Facebook post.
My mother is going to drive me to drink. For the last two months or more she has been complaint about a painful lump on her back that has prevented her from walking very far. She got that removed today, and proceeded to tell me that the lump was not painful and that she can't walk because she gets out of breath. This is the first I've heard of that complaint. She can't remember what she had for breakfast, she significantly reduced both food and liquid intake, because nothing tastes right. We go to the doctor and tells the doctor everything is fine. I'm worried that she is depressed as most of this started around the holidays and my lovely brother leaving at Thanksgiving. However I know she'd tell the doctor that she is not depressed and feels fine.
My cousin has come to stay with her, and while is helps to ease my burden, it has created its own problem. My cousin was widowed two years ago. Since then she has wanted to scatter her husband's ashes at a Fort Bragg. In this time no one stepped up to help her. So when she came up, I offered to take her up, she has no income, on a weekend when my daughter would be playing softball up there. She liked the idea and posted it on Facebook. Her daughters in law have invited themselves, along with their mother and children, and her best friend has invited herself as well. Where the fuck where these people the lady two years! I can't afford the trip like this. I won't tell family no, but really, they should get their own campsite. As for her best friend, she negates me going, if my cousin can drive her up in her truck, what am I going for? I can't afford the trip on my own, I don't want to drive on my own, and I can't be around her friend, I've seen chimneys who don't smoke as much as she and she doesn't care where or when she lights up.
No good deed goes unpunished. I risk being a bitch or ending up in the emergency room with an asthma attack and nasty headache. I hate being a bitch, but really must put my health first.
Speaking of emergency rooms, now is the time for the medical rant, definitely not for the faint of heart, though I will try to keep the squick to a minimum.
My knee is not healed, the doc now wants me to have an MRI which I can't afford, but I'm getting around okay with walking sticks and the pain is manageable. It seems like I get one thing working and something else wants to act up. My thyroid gets fixed, my knee goes out. My knee gets manageable, I develop a cyst, sort of.
I have had two small Bartholin cysts. That is likely TMI, so I'll not explain what they are and leave it to the curious to google. Normally, they are painless. Thursday morning, I noticed one was a bit swollen and had a bit of discharge. By Friday night it was the size of a large marble and painfull. I spent the weekend in pain hoping to get into the clinic on Monday, no such luck so I had to go to the ER. The anesthetic was excruciating, but not as bad as the catheter to drain the cyst, even after the anesthesia. Trust me, that is the most painful experience I've ever had. Worse than my knee and worse than the back labor that kept me up with my first pregnancy. If you have never had one, pray that you never get one.
For those of you who stuck with this, thank you! It is nice to know we have a safe place to vent.
__________________
Perspective Alters Reality
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25-03-2015 02:08
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ElectricWhite
Gatchamaniac
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Registration Date: 29-12-2011
Posts: 18925
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Geez, Ame, I wish we could find a way to stop this epidemic of getting bashed in the head with so much fertilizer!
I also wish I could do more than keep you in my thoughts and prayers as far as all your medical issues are concerned. Back when I first became disabled, I couldn't afford anything, either, and I had an epic battle to get my Social Security Disability benefits. If I'd lost that fight, I wouldn't be here now...even with Dad's help, there was no way I could have afforded my prescriptions, let alone any doctor's office visits or medical procedures.
I hope you've been telling your mother's doctor what she's been saying and doing, even though she's been contradicting you. She's not the first to show this kind of behavior, and she won't be the last. If he's worth his salt, he will take what you say seriously, since you are with her far more than he is. (And I hate to say this, but, based on what you've said, I think she might be showing some early signs of dementia.)
When it comes to family dynamics, you will always be painted as the bad guy by those individuals who act as though they are nothing more than toxic waste that's been dumped into the human gene pool. Having said that, I'd suggest that you go ahead and let people know how you really feel about the situation. It won't make you popular (you're damned if you do, damned if you don't no matter what), but at least you won't have the additional stress of keeping your opinion bottled up until it eats away at your innards. And, in the long run, who can really, truly fault you for being honest?
Now, as for this next part, I will be using some -- how should I put it? -- heavily spiced language. So, I hope you brace yourself before reading on.
When you wrote:
quote: | Originally posted by amethyst
if my cousin can drive her up in her truck, what am I going for? |
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it was a fight for me to keep from screaming out the answer: Because you -- unlike those sheep-fucking pieces of shit -- have been there for her! (I won't call them bitches or sons of bitches because all that does is insult dogs...and no puppy deserves that kind of insult!) So you don't have the financial resources they have, big deal. While she's been helping you, you've been someone she could talk to, a shoulder to cry on if she needed. No amount of money can replace that.
Okay, this looks like a good place to get off my soap box. Don't forget you've got an army of well-wishers in your corner. And I hope you'll keep us in the loop, okay?
__________________
“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury
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25-03-2015 07:52
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