So I'm home in BC for perhaps 2 weeks (when DH's sling comes off). My father has been non-responsive for 5 days now, occasionally eating on autopilot when yogurt or oatmeal is touched to his lips. At one point my brother picked him up and put him on the toilet because it's imperative that he goes to the bathroom to flush the ammonia from his system. That worked, but my brother's the only one in the family that's physically capable of doing it.

From there, there was more feeding, and my family gave him more lactulose than they ever have (which is completely allowed and recommended, you just keep raising the dose until it doesn't work). Apparently 2 hours later my dad, uh, "exploded" in his hospital bed. When I spoke to my brother he was at the store getting new bedding, heh. Is it bad of me that I'm really glad to be home at the moment and not having to participate in the hours of cleanup that caused? Now they'll definitely be using disposable diapers, etc.

This is the first time my father has gone in his bed. Just another part of his decline. *sigh* I might have to go back before the 2 weeks.

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Eagle Whisperer

Before I left he was still conscious, and I told him I was going home for 2 weeks to help DH post-surgery and would be back. He definitely understood me. He hasn't been conscious since that. :/ If he passes while I'm gone I can handle that, it means he'll be free from the nightmare. I'm mostly concerned about my mom needing help.

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Eagle Whisperer

There never seems to be a good way to lose a loved one - and you have a never-ending supply of hugs from here!

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-Boeke
Bird Scramble OE
155 issues - 36.5Years! - and flying high!

So sorry CW. It's ok to take a break and look out for the other part of your family. Too bad the transporter hasn't been invented yet so you could go back and forth quickly taking care of both your special guys.

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No matter how much cats fight there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

Have pushed my trip back home up to May 2 ... the fun continues. At least this time since I can't get a ride to the airport (Rob won't have his sling off yet) the bus works as an option, so much cheaper than a cab.

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Eagle Whisperer

That's good news. He's back to being aware of his surroundings. Are you still going back on May 2 or going to wait a few more days?

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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers so far...

So, I texted my niece and asked how my dad is doing ... "He's okay but around 3 he put his head through the drywall. We called the fire department and they helped him up. I couldn't do it. Someone from hospice came to assess him and everything."

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Eagle Whisperer

Did he fall or do it on purpose?

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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers so far...

All right, I've been here since Sunday afternoon. Today dad ended his 8 day non-responsive streak, waking up at 4am and keeping my mom continually running around until about 7:30, when she woke me up so I could shower and help her and then take over when she went to radiation. So far he's pretty overly ambitious, wanting to get up and go outside, etc. Instead, he tends to ask for things (coffee, orange juice, etc.) then by the time you get them he's falling asleep and doesn't want them.

We've had to tell him that anything that involves getting out of the bed (which includes using the bathroom instead of the diaper) will have to wait until my brother arrives around 2. Mom and I can barely get his diaper changed between the two of us when he's out cold, let alone lift him, and we're pretty sure that he no longer has the strength to stand. My brother can actually lift him.

Sneaking a bowl of cereal while he naps since my mom's at radiation so I'm on solo duty.

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Eagle Whisperer

Yesterday about every 2 hours he'd call my brother over and tell something ... the things were "be strong," "be wise," and "Don't do it" ... my brother has the bad feeling now that dad's last words to him will be "don't do it" and it's going to screw him up for life.

After 2 days of dad being kind of with it enough to speak and recognize us, he's back out again. He's got nasty chest congestion, you can hear it when he breathes, so we've got him on his side and the head of the bed elevated. Mom gave him some "secretions" medication that's supposed to help with the congestion as well. If that doesn't work, after talking to his nurse, we'll have to start giving him morphine (which is apparently for breathing as well as for pain).

He didn't even make his usual protest noises when we rolled him over onto his other side. :/

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Eagle Whisperer