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Kitsu
Exalted Member
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Registration Date: 27-05-2016
Posts: 153
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Just a long overdue update
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Hey all, it's been a long time since I've been around. I've been busy going through a lot of crap.
My father-in-law passed away in May. And, whereas it didn't hit me hard, it pretty much destroyed my husband. I can't say I understand. I haven't lost either parent yet, not even the one I'll be happy to see go, so I can't say I understand how he feels. Maybe I never will as I was never overly close to either of mine. My kids, too, had a lot of difficulty, obviously. It's been exhausting...
After he passed, things went way downhill... My husband's 2 brothers aren't exactly the nicest guys in the world. And, my husband being the youngest, gets pushed around and doesn't even see it. The brother who lives in another state was supposed to be executor of the estate and was NOT happy when he learned my husband was both the power of attorney AND executor. Of course his brother talked him into signing the job over to him, "You have 2 jobs, you don't have time for that." Yeah...?! Well, you live over 900 miles away and run your own company and work like 16 hours a day. Like HE had time for it, right? He didn't... He went home and my husband and I had to take care of EVERYTHING. That alone pissed me off, as I'm sure you can imagine. But I know why he wanted to be executor... It was so he could talk big about being fair and dividing things, then took important heirlooms for himself.
To make matters worse, on the day of the funeral, the same idiot told us, "Pop's wedding band is missing." My husband had a meltdown. We were 15 minutes away from the service starting and there I was calling the hospital to see if they had it. I was informed he didn't get admitted with it, which my husband thought odd since he never took it off. Well... I made a huge sacrifice. I told my husband to give me his and we would use that so he could be buried with something at least. I went in, told the idiot my plan and he said that was fine, we'd buy my husband a new one. I set it up with the funeral director, told him to cut it and wrap it around discretely (it was too small for my father-in-law).
But that's not the half of it... After we got home from the luncheon, idiot brother calls to say he found the ring. Guess where it was? In a zipper pouch idiot had gone into several times to get out the keys to a cabinet. You didn't see the ring?!? And guess who has it now? Not mu husband... I've told him many times to tell his brother he wants it, but I think he's afraid to stand up to him... I'm not... He treats me like I'm stupid. That doesn't fly with me. Trust me, when they were passing out brains, he thought they said trains and didn't get in line. He just THINKS he's smart. He also tends to think women are dumb. He doesn't like me, he just pretends he does. I don't pretend I like him. I'm civil. That's about it...
The day we sold all the stuff in the house, I had walked in once it was empty and wandered down to their bedroom where I sat on the floor and just burst into tears. It was long overdue. From the time my mother-in-law had gotten ill, I thought about everyone but me. I lost my brother-in-law (my sister's husband) suddenly, I lost a dear friend of 26 years, my mother-in-law passed, then finally my father-in-law. I was under so much stress for such a long time that I just cracked. I cried for everyone and everything I had lost. And who came in and found me crying? The idiot...
So now things are getting easier, we made it through the tough part of the first major holidays without them. I'm still irked by the idiot brother and I really want to punch him in the nuts... I know it won't solve anything, but it'll make me feel better and he deserves it. Guys like him shouldn't procreate. Thankfully he never has, but I also prefer that he never does.
So yeah, that's about it. Just wanted to update you guys on what's been going on. Thanks for listening. 
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11-02-2020 18:07
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Kitsu
Exalted Member
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Registration Date: 27-05-2016
Posts: 153
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Becky: thank you  You know, it's funny how perceptive you are. You're right, BIL didn't shed one tear. My oldest BIL cried a little, my husband was a mess, but the middle one? Not a drop. My husband was so pissed...
I remember when my hubby gave up the executor job. I told him he shouldn't have done that. The original plan, so he and BIL were told was that my hubby was going to be power of attorney and BIL was going to be executor. Obviously his father changed things for a reason and the reason was that my hubby was the only one he trusted to carry out things the way he wanted. Believe me, my hubby found out fast why his father changed the will. It's sad, really. The nice thing is, now we don't need to deal with BIL anymore.
Kat: thank you It's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only one who had to deal with this kind of mess and a less than desirable brother-in-law. And I'm glad I had my time to cry, too!  It doesn't seem strange at all to say that. I REALLY needed to cry! After so many years of illnesses and death, stressed out caring for people, holding my hubby and kids together, I had to cry. I cried for probably an hour straight for all the crying I couldn't afford to do in those 4 years. It felt so good when I was done!
My hubby is still having some difficulty, but I've done my best to help him through. He keeps it locked in, unfortunately, so I just talk to him about things and try to give him things to think about. I think he should cry more instead of holding it back. It's a healthy release 
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12-02-2020 10:55
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Julieann
Newbie
I am an Eagle.
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Registration Date: 03-09-2010
Posts: 43
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12-06-2020 05:03
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