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Kitsu
Exalted Member
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Registration Date: 27-05-2016
Posts: 153
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Not so much a rant as an update...
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Wow, I am so far behind the times... I haven't been on here in some time. Life has been a little crazy...
For those who read about my saga of the idiot trying to con me out of money to fix a dent in his car that my son didn't make, you'll be happy to know it's finally OVER!!! However, my son had to shell out $152 to file an appeal (I'm sorry, I wasn't flipping the bill for that). As my lawyer hoped, the jackass didn't want to go through all the BS of a trial (which I'm sure he'd have lost and had to shell out the money for our costs) so he just dropped it all. But that doesn't mean I'm not considering some method of revenge... Cheap TP is just as tough to get off your house as the expensive kind! 
My father-in-law had a heart attack the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. He had a 95% block in the main artery of his heart and had to have a stent put in. And it seems this was all caused by his sugar being out of control. It was ridiculously high because he doesn't watch his diet. So he was in the hospital a few days. Then Thanksgiving day, my husband had to rush off, he was in the hospital again. The stent closed and he had another heart attack. They opened it up and he stayed a few more days... The following Friday, he was back in there again because he had fluid on his lungs (due to his heart).
And it's been a disaster since... He doesn't listen, still isn't watching his diet and is eating a lot of things that are on the "no-no" list. He was also acting like an invalid. My poor husband was going over to his house almost every night of the week, lost a lot of his part time evening job... And always for stupid requests. One day, he had my husband run 10 minutes to his house just to bring him milk he didn't need at that exact moment (milk raises your sugar, he shouldn't have it at all). Worse, my father-in-law, as he has done other times, was taking his frustrations out on me. I was so angry that he was treating me as his personal punching bag and my husband not sticking up for me that I refused to be any help or to go over to his house. He's a little better now (about time) but he's still rather needy. And the only help my husband has is an aunt and uncle who take his father to doctor appointments. My brother-in-law lives closer and never goes over or helps. The other brother lives in Florida. So my husband is pretty much it...
I caught the flu right before Christmas (lucky me), so the holidays weren't exactly fun...
Around the middle of last month, my male cat began getting urinary blockages. It got so bad that last Tuesday I had to rush him to the vet for emergency surgery or he'd have died. They... had to lop his knob off... The family jewels had to go, too. The urethra in male cats is pretty narrow, which is why they... lop it off... Then they take the wider part of the urethra, reroute it down near his butt and sew it fast to the skin to make a new opening. So he pretty much had gender reassignment surgery and now pees like a female. But he and I are both okay with this because he can PEE!!! I know it sounds weird to get excited over a cat peeing, but after all the pain and discomfort he was in and how close to dying that he was... Well, it's a big deal that he can pee again! And now I owe my mom and my sister a LOT of money. I had to borrow it for all the procedures and surgery because I didn't have it. I know, I was crazy spending so much, but he's such a sweet cat and he's still young. The alternative wasn't an option...
Things at home aren't very good lately... Part is financial issues. It's just a lot I don't want to unload on anyone. And my husband and I aren't getting along at all.
Sometimes I want to run away from home. Is that an option...?
Well, at least now you guys know why I haven't been on forever. Some days I don't know which end is up...
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06-02-2019 15:46
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KT1972
Gatchamaniac
I am a Condor.
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Registration Date: 02-11-2011
Posts: 25494
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Can I give a little perspective on the FIL issue?
A couple of years ago I had exactly the same thing happen to me, I now have a stent in my main artery, and, for many people, I'm sure that's all they need. However, in my case it took about 18 months to get a full diagnosis, and I have a condition called microvascular angina, which basically means the tiny capillaries around my heart are blocked, and there's no stent for them.
But it does mean a lot of changes for the patient. Speaking personally, I have had to limit what I can do around the house.
Things I used to do automatically now take some planning. Tying shoelaces for example, easy for most people, but if I try, it restricts my breathing and causes pain and dizziness.
If I want to cook a big meal, I need to accept that I won't have the energy to wash the pots afterwards.
There are limits to how much weight I can safely lift.. so grocery shopping now has to be done online and home delivered...
I used to be able to walk for hours, but not only am I restricted from leaving the house alone, but I need to stop every few yards to catch my breath... the list goes on and on.
And then there's the meds... or, more specifically the side effects from the meds. I now have to take 10 pills a day. My BP meds cause dizzy spells that can often last a few hours. My cardiologist gave me another to counteract this, which has the curious side effect of producing blisters on the palms of my hands! Most of the time the blisters are small, painless and disappear of their own accord after a day or two, but very occasionally I'll get one that really irritates. Another pill, for water retention, has me going to the toilet every hour or so, but when I've complained about it, I'm told "It's doing exactly what it's supposed to do."
Yes, it's frustrating, for me and the family who have to be around to help, and yes, your FIL should be very grateful he has at least one of his offspring available, and willing, to help, but if he's acting like an invalid, it may be because he's feeling like one, with all the new restrictions his medical professionals have put on him. It might take a while for him to adjust to a new lifestyle.
As for his lifestyle choices, it can be very difficult to give up something you enjoy, even if it is to extend your life. If he's been 'forced' to give up a particular favourite food/drink/hobby or whatever, he may be feeling a sense of deprivation, or loss. It's like thinking 'what's the point of extending my life, if I'm just going to be miserable without XXX? I'll keep enjoying it, I may die sooner but at least I'll be happy...' I've had days when I've thought like that, but then the pain and breathlessness gets so bad that I wonder why I'm putting myself through it all. To clarify I'm not saying I want to die, far from it, but wondering whether that cheese toastie was really worth all the suffering I have to put up with just for the few minutes of pleasure it gave me to eat it. (For the record, cheese is on my no-no list.)
Please be patient with you FIL, I know it seems difficult, especially as it sounds like he's being a bit of a d*ck about it, but he has to make a lot of adjustments, and until he comes to terms with his condition it will mean he needs the support of his closest family. Eventually he will learn to adapt, and things should get easier all round for your hubby and you. Good luck and stay strong.
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Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope. - HELEN KELLER
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07-02-2019 11:53
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Kitsu
Exalted Member
0 fics uploaded
Registration Date: 27-05-2016
Posts: 153
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Reboeka: Thank you! I need the hugs! 
Becky: Thanks, sweetie, I'm glad I have such great friends And you're right, if he has a death wish, there isn't much I can do. Except stop him from making comment in front of the kids... And I told the hubby he needs to choose only certain days during the week to run and do things for him. He's enabling my FIL, really. I told hubby that his father is taking him away from the little time he has with us and it's not fair to me, the kids or him. So now he's taking more of a stand. About time! I've been going nuts! 
KT: Well, as far as I know, the only issue he had was that the main artery was 95% blocked. They put the stent in and a week later it was blocked again, so they needed to put in a longer stent. They did have issues getting him on meds that were a good combo and worked for him. He has congestive heart failure and just had a pacemaker/defibrillator put in earlier this week and that seems to be helping him a lot. But it's mostly stupid things... Like the other day, he called my hubby when he left work to see if he could stop in. He couldn't because he had to meet me and our youngest at the urgent care (volleyball accident in school, had to take him for an x-ray) and all he wanted was for my nubby to call him at 4AM so he could get to the hospital in time to get the device put in. Seriously?! Why did he need to stop in for that?!? He didn't wish our oldest son a happy birthday, and he knew it was his birthday because I sent dinner over for him. My hubby missed dinner with his son, ON HIS BIRTHDAY, because he was sitting with the old fart making sure he ate. And do you think he said thank you for the food I sent or said it was good...? No! He asked where the onions were! Seriously?! I'll show you where the f*ck the onions are gonna BE... His doctors don't think he should live alone, so fine, hubby brought up us living with him (we have no room in our house). It would help all of us financially, he wouldn't be lonesome and we could do cooking, dishes, housework... He had the nerve to tell my hubby that he didn't want his house looking like ours. Not the first time I've had a slur against the way I keep house. As far as I'm concerned, I'm done with the old man. He's just nasty, a lot of people have said the same. He purposely likes to hurt people, especially me. I'm tired of this torture. 
So yeah, that's what's been going on with him. And that's only part of the mess that is my life at the moment. Makes me wonder how far away Calgon, Xanax and a bottle of wine can take me 
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14-03-2019 15:53
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