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Swan_Jun

Newbie

I am a Swan.

Registration Date: 31-01-2010
Posts: 47

Help!A Friend Of Mine Passed Away!

Hello All,

I Have a Problem

I Heard That A Special Friend Of mine Passed Away And I Feel Down In The Dumps Because He Was A Dear Friend.

Help Me Please!

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Jun The Swan

BIRD GO!

No I don't Suffer From A Swan Obsession. Being a Swan Is Graceful and beautiful

This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Swan_Jun on 27-12-2010 at 23:43.
Reason: Half Finished

27-12-2010 23:39

UnpublishedWriter UnpublishedWriter is a Female

Gatchamaniac

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Registration Date: 31-08-2009
Posts: 3156

Is there something missing?

My condolences.

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27-12-2010 23:43

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Madilayn

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Registration Date: 01-02-2006
Posts: 3589

I'm sorry to hear that.

When somebody you love leaves you - for whatever reason - it is always important to allow yourself a grieving period.

With it was a sudden death, you can not only feel the loss, but also cheated by that death (I speak from experience here).

Whatever you do - don't crawl into yourself. You should try to live your life in a way which honours your memories of your friend.

Those we love are never really gone - as long as they live in our hearts, as long as the last ripple from the last action and the last person they affect - in any way - exists, they will remain.

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27-12-2010 23:54

clouddancer clouddancer is a Female

Gatchamaniac

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Registration Date: 10-04-2007
Posts: 12239

Maddy says, "don't crawl into yourself" she is correct and yet that is very easy to do.

That is what happened to me back in September when I fell into a depression and did not even realize that is what happened. It was not until someone mentioned I might be depressed that I began to take notice again.

I discussed things with a counselor and he mentioned the best thing to do, is what you have just done, reach out others, let them know what has happened and talk to them about the situation. (or for you the person you lost.) Another thing he mentioned depression is a very natural for a person to feel. What matters is how withdrawn you become due to that depression.

Jun, remember we are here for you if you need us. Huggles Anime Smooch

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by clouddancer on 28-12-2010 at 00:58.

28-12-2010 00:25

Becky Rock Becky Rock is a Female

Gatchamaniac

I am a Condor.

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Registration Date: 16-04-2009
Posts: 6458

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

Remember the good times you shared with this person and keep him in your heart. No one is ever really gone as long as you do that.

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28-12-2010 00:27

amethyst

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Registration Date: 15-07-2009
Posts: 6248

Maddy and CD have offered some good advice, I'll build on it:

Sometimes it hurts too much to talk about loss immediately (My father passed away a year ago August, and sometimes it is still hard to deal with). Focus on things you really enjoy and force yourself to get out and be with people at least twice a week (aside from doing your job or normal routine) until you are emotionally ready to deal with the grief. It will help to keep you from closing up within yourself. If someone asks, don't deny, be honest. Sometimes it takes just the right person asking the right question to help the process along.

Whatever you do, don't judge how you are dealing with how someone else thinks you should be dealing. We all have different coping mechanisms and different ways have handling grief.

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28-12-2010 00:40

Pufles65

Master Boardie

I am a Swallow.

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Registration Date: 20-06-2010
Posts: 508

I'm sorry for your loss and by the way it sounds it was a great shock on his passing. Frown
I think everyone gave great advice but I like the way amethyst put it best. Not to judge your grief and how your dealing with it compared to someone elses. Give yourself permission to go through all the emotions, shock, sorrow, pain, and yes even anger. Once you realize that you have a right to feel various emotions I think it makes it easier to accept others to help you through it.
Like Becky says, remember the good times and cry through the memories but cherish them always. Huggles

28-12-2010 04:36

gatchamarie gatchamarie is a Female

Gatchamaniac

I am an Eagle.

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Registration Date: 18-06-2009
Posts: 5129

I'm so sorry for your loss, Swan Jun! I cannot add much more to the others', precious advice ... the only other comforting thing I can offer is a warm, sincere Huggles .

Amethyst is right ... everyone has different ways to handle grief ... the process could start at once, or it could take some time to show up after a period of denial! It could also seem to last forever! But, when it comes just accept it, and don't be ashamed of it ... it's a crucial part of the healing process, even if the mark left by the loss of a dear person could never be ignored. Cherish the memories, and try to remember him at his best! I'm sure that's what he wishes! Life goes on, and we have to live life for those whom we lose!

Amethyst ... a Huggles to you too, sincerely hoping that every, new day would be better for you to deal with your own loss!

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28-12-2010 09:58

littlewolf littlewolf is a Female

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Swan_Jum
you have received wonderful and insightful advise

I know that, especially when the loss is sudden, you go into a form of shock, nothing can prepare you, and you feel numb, people can give you wonderful advice and support , but sometimes nothing gets in, your body and mind are trying to protect you, so they go into survival mode and shut down.

Eventually you start to feel again (although you may not think it at the time) and it hurts,... hurts, sometimes like you feel you are going to break, but you don't,... cause you are strong, stronger than you think...and all around you people are waiting to help you, reach out to you, hold you, rock you when you cry and help you stand up again...listen to you and support you.....cause you are loved and cherished.

I find many times a wake helps me.....I get photos, remember stories, laugh, cry and yell, I say hello to the one I lost, say the things I didn't get around to saying, applologise if i need to, burn letters to them and say goodbye...For now in this life...and get a hug and a shoulder to lean on....I have faith in you and am here when you are ready...

Huggles

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by littlewolf on 28-12-2010 at 11:42.

28-12-2010 11:39

Ebonyswanne Ebonyswanne is a Female

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Registration Date: 25-04-2007
Posts: 5592

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of a friend. I hope there is someone close by you can talk to about it. Its one thing to type how you feel, often its also good to speak it out loud too rather than bottle it all up.

Huggles

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28-12-2010 22:22

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