Ahh men and farts ... Oh small minds, and all that.
I remember my brother stayed over one night back in the day. He slept on the floor in my room (I was only 13, okay).. So all the lights were out and I hear a low chuckle.
In the pitch black of the room, I peered over the edge of my bed to the floor and asked what was wrong.
Well ... I saw the flick of a lighter, and then a white, bare ass ...
And then a giant orange and blue flame exploding in time with a low, deep fart.
It was literally a breathtakeing sight for as many reasons as you can imagine ... icky, yucky, huh, cool ....
Then the cry of a wounded man as I hear the words: "ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH I JUST BURNT ALL THE HAIRS OFF MY ASS!!"
Heh heh ... that's one of those childhood memories I fondly recall ... LOL!
SJ
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Sighhh
Why do men snore when lying on their backs? Because their balls fall over their butt holes and they vapour lock.
I hope you don't mind if I send this thread to 2 workmates do you? That story is damm funny SJ.
I think the best scene in Blazing Saddles, is that scene where the cowboys are eating baked beans and 1 farts and then another and soon everybody farts.
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Eagle in Residence
Tempory Frisker
Originally posted by meridianday
I recall my husband lighting a fart in front of his mother - I really don't think she was expecting that!
Oh ... my ....
What a brave boy! LOL!!! Oh I like him already!!
My little guy has learned ... where from, I wonder ... eyeballs Flash suspiciously ... to lift his ass right into mommy's face, snicker, and then fart ....
Yup. HE started doing that tonight when he was playing on the computer - he sits on my knee ...
MEN!
SJ
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Sighhh
Why do men snore when lying on their backs? Because their balls fall over their butt holes and they vapour lock.
I think you ought to tell the tale. The things I am imagining may be worse than the real story. Or they might not. I have no way of knowing, other than knowing the effects of dark beer.
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Mallanox : "My mother was Irish and my father was an alien. I was an only child and I dress funny."
Originally posted by Lolabella
They were talking about this on the radio this morning on the way to work. Mostly how men will never grow out of thinking how funny they are.
Oh and I've got a story too..but I'm afraid it will change y'alls perception of me. It involves dark micro-brewed beer and a U2 concert...
Oh please do.
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Eagle in Residence
Tempory Frisker
No Eagle would come close to this one. Let me assure you!
Basically, we hit a microbrewery before the concert. We ordered the brew sampler platter, which was a 3 oz glass of about 8 different beers...many of them of the dark variety.
Now, this is probably the first time that I realized that dark mirco-brewed beer has a gastly *cough* affect on me and I started to feel the rumblings on the way to the concert.
But, whats a gal to do? Give up seeing BONO for a little gastrial intestinal distress? Not this gal! A soon as the concert started I knew that I was in for it and so where all the people within 100 feet of me. The awful 'Silent But Deadly Peel the Paint off the Walls' hit me.
Of course, I didn't let on that it was me and kept looking around with everyone else and making a pucker face. My friend kept telling me how awful it was and she had tears in her eyes and I just kept shrugging, holding my nose and looking around. :dunno:
Well...needless to say, we still enjoyed the concert...at least I did. BUt I bet if all those people could move, they probalby would have and I would have had a whole section to myself.
There...now you know!!! I cannot believe I shared that. This message might have to self destruct....
It's a good job for U2 (and everyone else attending) that you weren't nearer the stage! Look what if Bono had done that thing where he picks someone out of the crowd and it'd been you and your wind, and he'd croaked and choked his way through the song.
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Mallanox : "My mother was Irish and my father was an alien. I was an only child and I dress funny."
Lola, baby! You are a dangerous Swan in more ways than just the typical, eh?!
Oh I see a fic ... I so see a fic!
Of course, I have a couple on the go right now, and another plot burning a hole in my eyeballs demanding to be written - down muse, down! - so I'm not writing it ...
I'm surprised the environmentally friendly tree-hugging U2 front man didn't immediately stop the concert to eliminate the not-so-natural gas emissions from his venue ...
Brilliant .... just. fucking. brilliant...
SJ
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Sighhh
Why do men snore when lying on their backs? Because their balls fall over their butt holes and they vapour lock.
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