Teacher Trouble

Oct. 10, 2004

Okay, I rarely rant in public. But this time, ARGHHHHH!!!!

Son's in grade one, and a bit behind with reading and writing. His kindergarten teacher didn't push the academics, and he fights when I try to work with him. He's ahead on the math and science concepts, so once he gets the reading going, he'll catch up fast.

Beginning of year: he's in a split class, mostly Grade 1, with some grade 2 kids. Teacher pregnant, two months to go.

First of all, these are grade one kids -- first experience with desks and homework and actually report cards and tests.

Tests? He hasn't had one yet.

I sympathize with the teacher for wanting an extra two months salary before starting mat leave -- but not enough to agree with her!

And they can't even pick the replacement until much closer -- so no chance of a smooth transition.

Two weeks in, Friday they had a new teacher -- first had medical problems. Note from principal comes home Monday -- medical probs, everything okay so far, but won't come back; they're looking for permanent now.

Get Teacher 3 for the next week, as a temp. She seems okay.

Get Teacher 4 for week 4 and 5. Intro letter says he's the permanent one. Routine seems to get established.

Actually, I liked teacher 4 more than teacher 1 -- the intro letter was more casual, less beaurcratese for the goals. Talked about how changes and new routines will take a while, but we'll come out just fine. The trouble-makers had their little tussle with him, he'd affirmed his alpha status, and demonstrated a clear slate the next day by asking them to choose the first song. This boy shares the bus stop, and he desparately needs a good male role model.

And, today, end of week 5, C says there was an extra teacher there today, who will be there next week, and teacher 4 is leaving. Note from teacher 4 (but not principal) says been fun but he's been offered a job closer to home. (45 minute commute, based on his home-town listed in intro letter.)

No news at all from the front office. Hubby just checked the school's home page and says "I'm not impressed with the school's lack of communcation skills."

Oct. 15, 2004

And he reminded me that I was 30 minutes late for C's swimming lesson. Managed a new record for getting them out the door and him into the pool, with 15 minutes left in the lesson.

I even called up one of the private schools for information. It's great academically -- a year ahead by grade two. But I don't like private schools -- "Public isn't good enough for us" is just too close to "We're too good for the Public."

We can afford the fees -- be another hit to the retirement savings plan, but well worth it if it means he does well enough in school to enjoy it.

But it's a Christian school. My belief is agnostic -- we can't really know -- and my culture is Christian. I've joined and faded from a few different churches; even helped with the confirmation classes. I don't mind my kids being taught stories about Jesus and Adam and Noah. At that age, "true" versus "story" is muddled enough, I'm not worried that they'll take it as, pardon the pun, "Gospel truth". So long as they don't tell my kids that theirs is the only road to Heaven, I'm not worried. I'd actually like them to be exposed to that part of our culture.

There's another problem. Our kids aren't baptized. I figure that, if our inaction is enough to keep them out of Heaven, then they'll be in good company. And it's hypocritical to get them baptized and ask the congregation for help raising them when I won't be there to return the favour. Getting them baptized just to go to that school is not right.

Today's the end of week 6.

The "at risk child" at the bus stop hadn't been at school the last day of teacher 5, so the first he heard about the change was at the bus stop. He broke into tears. He had spent an hour printing out a story to show him. (I've suggested that his mom help him send a good-bye letter, or the story, or even see if they can get him as a penpal. The boy needs a good male role model very, very badly. His own father is out of the picture, but not far enough.)

(How do I tell my son that he shouldn't play with the boy when he's in the mood for making trouble? Six years old is too young to label the kid, and he does need friends around to set good examples, but I have to admit there's a trend, and my first duty is to my own son.)

Teacher 5 didn't tell us her name the first day, and her "hello" message the next day was rather short -- nothing about her but her name. Like, hello? Two days at work and a long weekend, and she comes up with only the basics?

Things are doing well in one way, because I'm not hearing tales of the two trouble-makers.

If we do move him to a private school, it should be soon. Or maybe over the summer. There are a few others locally, but the three others I've researched, I disagree with some of their methods. Really like other parts, though. One, I've heard of a teacher writing a note to parents filled with spelling mistakes. Another runs the risk of the kid not being forced to go to all the learning stations and not adapting well when he rejoins a more traditional school. And another, one of their brochures showing the kids' work, had a mistake in stuff that I was dictated by the teacher. (Although, to be fair, the difference between power and energy, while important, is probably not needed before high school.)

Back to this school.

We've got a goal setting meeting at the end of October. Report cards come out early December. How the H*** is the teacher supposed to know our child well enough to choose goals, and how is she supposed to judge how well he's doing academically. Every other kid has had one or two tests by now; he's had none. And at this age it's as much observation and talking with the kid -- he might not be able to write 2 + 3 = 5, but he can hold up fingers or move pennies.

For that matter, how can she learn enough about each kid to adapt how she teaches and encourages?

I've doubled the homework each night to compensate. Now, instead of choosing two out of three things each night (printing, reading and a list from the teacher [1]), with only one thing if we're doing Beavers or swimming, and only one set on the weekend, we're doing one of each every night, and two of each every weekend. That gives more work each night, and no nights off. But I can't depend on the teacher to keep him learning.

[1] List from the teacher. We were given a list of 30 things, and told to do three a week, any three, for September. Hubby's convinced that it's critical we get the October page. (Thanks to the teacher mix-up, we got the grade 2 October page.) The things are too vague: skip down the sidewalk (how far?) Try different varieties of apples (how many?). So, even once he's chosen one, we "discuss" what it actually means.

I hear this parenting thing doesn't get any easier.

__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

- Viktor E. Frankl

Teacher four had a 45-60 minute drive, on a long and busy open road, which I know to be nasty in winter. So, I guess I can sypmathize, but he shouldn't have taken the job in the first place if he was that close to getting something better for him.

I've some problems with the local Montessori schools. (There are two here.) They're the ones with the teacher who couldn't spell and the workstations that the kids might choose not to do. Of course, it all depends on how the teacher interprets the philosophy. I've been told that our playschool, which I absolutely love, is very Montessori-like.

I've also looked at Waldorf. They take great pains to say they're not like Montessori, despite superficial similarities. I like a lot of what they do, but I'm not convinced they're right for us. I see opportunities for big problems with some of their core ideas. Again, depends on the teacher -- who stays with them for all five years or longer.

This week seemed to go well. No tales of misbehaving kids, at least. We're still going to do the double homework, and I'm thinking that I'll get him tested at one of the private tutoring places in January. Yeah, they've got a vested interest in convincing us he can do better if we pay them, but it will give me an idea of where to concentrate. I've also picked up (way too many) workbooks and such for him -- just gotta keep myself from making him do a page in each of 25 different books every day.

Does anyone know of a good reader for this stage that I can get on abebooks or elsewhere? He's got about 25 sight words down pat, and has the single consonants mastered, and we're almost at the end of what we've got.

Cricket

__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

- Viktor E. Frankl

OMG.. Elvin.. you were a Home-schooled kid? Hats off to your mom then.

Honest to Heavens.. I am not one that have the patience or the organizing-skills to successfully home-school my kids. And I have always amazed at those who have successfully done so. And yes, I am a bit leery of the entire home-schooling business. As you have pointed out, without the structure, it can harm the kids more than benefit them.

But obviously.. your mom have had immense success. So, bravo for her.



Yuki

Oh, thanks ladies.

We go into this parenthood thing thinking we'll be great -- not make any of the mistakes our parents made, and certainly not the mistakes the neighbours are making. We'll complement the school with extra-cirricular, and we'll be patient and our kids are gonna excel in all the important stuff. Take advantage of all the opportunities for them.

And then reality hits and you realize you can't sit still for fifteen minutes while he reads to you, and two cups of tea is your limit.

I'd never be able to home school my kids, esp not in the early years. I'm a perfectionist. I want the work done, and done now, and you concentrate until it's done, and I get so worked up about it that it's a terrible experience for everyone -- not the way I want him to learn.

Maybe for the year before high school. I've one acquaintance who did that, and emphasized things like grammar and punctuation and spelling -- things that just weren't noticed at the school. He finally got tired of recopying essays, and looked up the words the first time. She let him choose many of the books, and phys ed was skiing during the day when the hills were empty. Not sure if it's for us, but it's an option.

At music today, I talked with three teachers: one who taught K&2 30 years ago, one who taught Waldorf a few years ago, and one who's a personal aide in primary grades. Their advice: stick it out another month or two. Turns out the 100-word list is by the end of this year, and they all had stories about kids who seemed behind, but then jumped in leaps and bounds -- provided the stage had been set and the oportunity there and the parents wern't fighting the kids about it. Universal negative on the Sylvan testing -- too much pressure on the kid.

So, we're gonna keep the double homework -- he's learned not to fight it, so it only takes 15 minutes. And we've had some major milestones in the last three days:

He drew a stick-figure (he's got my art skills) and I complimented it and asked who it was, so he took the marker, asked me how to spell "am", and wrote "I am Crackers" in the speech bubble. No asking me to do it. He considers himself a person that uses writing to communicate.

I got him a math book last week, for when we finish one of the other books, and he asked to do a page. (Grins -- atta boy! Fourth generation engineer, here we come!)

After breakfast today, I had a magazine out, and told him he'd get a penny if he found and circled ten words that he knew. Well, he started with "Dear", tried "Parents", probably did 7 sight words and 3 sounded-out. Huge difference from last month, when we had to fight over every word, and he'd give up after one try.

Hubby wants to go to the school council meeting tonight and crack some heads -- get him tested at Sylvan and bill the school board -- but I think that would be counter-productive. We've got to give the new teacher time to settle in and get things moving before we judge her. With four teachers before her, I can only imagine the state of the desk and materials, not to mention the mood of the kids.

We've got a "goal setting" meeting next week with the teacher. I'm going to offer my services while R's at school. Some teachers love extra help -- to read with individuals or groups, or to do the photocopying, or cut out stuff for art. I know some parents are upset at being asked to do the photocopying, but I figure if it frees up the teacher's time, it's worth it.

We've got province-wide testing in grade 3. Our school rates about middle on average. That's our final line -- if he's not meeting provincial expectations by then, we're outa there. But I think he'll do well on them. From what I've heard, they test the type of lateral thinking that I'm good at and am already encouraging him to do.

Sigh,

I hear it doesn't get any easier until the kids are grandparents.

__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

- Viktor E. Frankl