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--- Chris update (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=4841)
Posted by ChrisW on 09-05-2015 at 00:36:
Today dad got changed to "in transition" ... he's non-responsive and still not protesting when we move him, and his breath is really rattling. "In transition" refers to transitioning from life to death. It could be 2 days, 5 days, or a month. Due to the way his disease works, he could wake up again, or not. He also got his first dose of morphine today. I didn't know that morphine is used to make breathing easier. He has a catheter now too since even if he wakes up he can't get up and walk around.
I haven't been expecting much of my upcoming birthday. So far that seems pretty smart.
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Posted by ChrisW on 09-05-2015 at 14:19:
Bro woke me up because dad sounds terrible and it might be time. He's breathing really fast and it sounds like through a mucus swamp. We're waiting on an emergency hospice nurse since we've given him all the medications we can.
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Posted by KT1972 on 09-05-2015 at 15:04:
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Posted by ChrisW on 09-05-2015 at 16:29:
I thought I posted but I guess it failed to post ... my dad's gone, he died at 12:04.
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Posted by KT1972 on 09-05-2015 at 16:42:
so, so sorry Chris
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Posted by amethyst on 09-05-2015 at 18:11:
Chris, I'm sorry for your loss. I won't repeat the standard platitudes for this situation, while true, they aren't always helpful.
Here's what helped me get through a similar situation: create a playlist/CD of his favorite songs for the memorial and go through old photo albums/scrape books to make a new one. This will be hard, but it will help to erase the last month and allow you to focus on more positive memories.
Be prepared to laugh, cry, scream and shout!
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Posted by Kritter on 09-05-2015 at 21:17:
I'm so sorry for your loss. :
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Posted by ChrisW on 09-05-2015 at 21:59:
My brother and I gave my mom her clothing store gift certificates for mother's day early. I took her shopping but we didn't find what she was looking for. At least it kept us busy and got us out for a bit.
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Posted by mylari on 09-05-2015 at 22:03:
Oh, Chris... I am so sorry to hear that 
I wish there was something I could say that would make it easier/hurt less, but I know it doesn't work that way. Just know that I'm here if you need an ear!
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Posted by Springie on 10-05-2015 at 04:15:
Sending hugs your way...my deepest condolences, Chris...
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Posted by ElectricWhite on 10-05-2015 at 04:25:
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Chris. I know this might not bring you as much comfort as I wish it would, but at least your Dad isn't suffering any more and you can begin to remember him as he was before he got sick.
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Posted by ChrisW on 10-05-2015 at 14:24:
He was pretty miserable for the last couple of months at least, so I'm glad he's free of that. It's something to hold onto. I think we're all still kind of numb, here, though. Not sure when it's going to really hit us.
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Posted by Becky Rock on 10-05-2015 at 17:16:
I'm so sorry for you loss, Chris. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Posted by k2p2 on 11-05-2015 at 00:29:
So sorry for your loss, Chris. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts..
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Posted by Transmute Jun on 12-05-2015 at 13:06:
My condolences on your loss.
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Posted by ChrisW on 13-05-2015 at 18:49:
Thanks folks. It still hasn't really sunk in yet, but I do feel like he's free now instead of suffering, so there's that.
It's been crazy with notifying people, making arrangements, etc. My mom's sister is here now and she's helping with stuff, including talking my mom off the ledge with thinking every dress she looks at is inappropriate, etc.
The day I got here my period started (and I never stopped spotting). I'm now on about 6 weeks bleeding. Yesterday my period kind of stopped though there was lots of spotting. Today, it starts back again, heavily. GAH it's so fucking frustrating. I'm blaming the hormones for my current obsession with a local cupcake place. 
So far we've all managed to keep relatively calm and not fight, which is good. Bleh.
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Posted by Victoria on 16-05-2015 at 08:17:
I hope you're okay and if not, I hope you'll be better soon. I've lost my own father a year and a month ago, but I don't want to tell you what to feel or anything. Just remember that a lot of people in here care about you.
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Posted by ChrisW on 16-05-2015 at 12:43:
*hugs* Victoria. It mostly hasn't hit me yet. Today is the service, a reception, and people back to the house, so I expect to feel like I was hit by a truck at the end of the day ...
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Posted by KT1972 on 16-05-2015 at 13:19:
Hope everything goes well today, Chris, stay strong. You'll get through it.
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Posted by ChrisW on 05-06-2015 at 23:47:
I thought I'd make a closing out post for this thread. I'm not sure my father's death has really hit me yet. That, or I'm just so relieved that he's free ... I suspect it's a combo thereof.
My mom finished her radiation. Apparently you're still "cooking" so to speak for a few weeks after so she was getting more tired before I left, but seemed to be taking a good attitude about it and just resting when she needed to rest. My eldest niece is staying with her off and on through July so so she's not entirely alone, and my mom will be going to NYC to spend some time with my brother, too. Between that and her friends keeping her busy she seems to be doing okay. I hope we're not all keeping her so busy that she has no time to process, but I think she'd start declining invitations, etc., if she felt overwhelmed.
My husband's still healing very well from shoulder surgery. He's already in physio, which is of course making things hurt a bit more because he's working them, but he's definitely loving the fact that somehow it all seems to be going right. I'm sure part of it is that he actually follows instructions and doesn't do stuff he's not supposed to do (not to mention he's been doing every exercise he was given even before physio).
On my part, I'm still bleeding. I've had 3 full periods in May. My dr gave me some anti-bleeding meds for a week at a high dose but I'm not sure they worked. I'll give it a few days to see. They've already run out and the bleeding has continued, but maybe it takes a bit to get the full benefit. Depo provera (progesterone) is apparently not my friend, given the over 6 weeks of bleeding it's caused. So much for stopping my cycle to see if my iron/ferritin/hemoglobin bounces back!
I've got a mammogram (due to mom's breast cancer) and a pelvic ultrasound (due to my bleeding probs) coming this week. Whee.
It's okay to respond here but I'll probably do any future posts in another thread.
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