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--- Chris update (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=4841)
Posted by ChrisW on 23-04-2015 at 21:54:
So I'm home in BC for perhaps 2 weeks (when DH's sling comes off). My father has been non-responsive for 5 days now, occasionally eating on autopilot when yogurt or oatmeal is touched to his lips. At one point my brother picked him up and put him on the toilet because it's imperative that he goes to the bathroom to flush the ammonia from his system. That worked, but my brother's the only one in the family that's physically capable of doing it.
From there, there was more feeding, and my family gave him more lactulose than they ever have (which is completely allowed and recommended, you just keep raising the dose until it doesn't work). Apparently 2 hours later my dad, uh, "exploded" in his hospital bed. When I spoke to my brother he was at the store getting new bedding, heh. Is it bad of me that I'm really glad to be home at the moment and not having to participate in the hours of cleanup that caused? 
Now they'll definitely be using disposable diapers, etc.
This is the first time my father has gone in his bed. Just another part of his decline. *sigh* I might have to go back before the 2 weeks.
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Posted by KT1972 on 23-04-2015 at 22:02:
It's tough Chris, but you know things are going to get progressively worse. I know I couldn't watch my father deteriorate like that, so don't feel bad that you're not there at the moment.
I'm sure you would prefer your final memories to be of your father as he used to be, and he would understand you have other responsibilities too, even if he couldn't communicate it to you before you left.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Posted by ChrisW on 23-04-2015 at 22:11:
Before I left he was still conscious, and I told him I was going home for 2 weeks to help DH post-surgery and would be back. He definitely understood me. He hasn't been conscious since that. :/ If he passes while I'm gone I can handle that, it means he'll be free from the nightmare. I'm mostly concerned about my mom needing help.
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Posted by mylari on 23-04-2015 at 22:27:
*hugs* It's definitely a tough situation to be in. It's hard to see people we love going through those things, whether they are aware of what's happening or not. And it's even tougher to watch other loved ones having to deal with the day to day down and dirty stuff.
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Posted by Reboekah on 24-04-2015 at 00:38:
There never seems to be a good way to lose a loved one - and you have a never-ending supply of hugs from here!
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Posted by ChrisW on 24-04-2015 at 01:26:
Thanks guys. It's nice to have a place to talk.
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Posted by Kritter on 24-04-2015 at 02:54:
So sorry CW. 
It's ok to take a break and look out for the other part of your family. Too bad the transporter hasn't been invented yet so you could go back and forth quickly taking care of both your special guys.
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Posted by k2p2 on 24-04-2015 at 12:32:
Aw, Chirs..it you're doing the best that you can. Keeping you all in my thoughts
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Posted by ChrisW on 24-04-2015 at 20:59:
Have pushed my trip back home up to May 2 ... the fun continues. At least this time since I can't get a ride to the airport (Rob won't have his sling off yet) the bus works as an option, so much cheaper than a cab.
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Posted by ChrisW on 25-04-2015 at 02:55:
Just got this message from my mom, a bit of improvement:
"He rode on his walker seat to the bathroom...went. ..& walked, with help of (niece), back to bed."
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Posted by Becky Rock on 25-04-2015 at 22:30:
That's good news. He's back to being aware of his surroundings. Are you still going back on May 2 or going to wait a few more days?
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Posted by ChrisW on 25-04-2015 at 22:35:
Still going back on May 2.
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Posted by ChrisW on 26-04-2015 at 00:03:
So, I texted my niece and asked how my dad is doing ... "He's okay but around 3 he put his head through the drywall. We called the fire department and they helped him up. I couldn't do it. Someone from hospice came to assess him and everything."
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Posted by Kritter on 26-04-2015 at 02:09:
Jeez! That's scary. You are in my thoughts.
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Posted by Becky Rock on 30-04-2015 at 23:30:
Did he fall or do it on purpose?
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Posted by ChrisW on 01-05-2015 at 00:02:
In the picture the hole in the wall is almost by the floor so he fell. He's been okay, and then non-responsive, and then partially non-responsive lately ... I fly out on Saturday.
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Posted by ChrisW on 06-05-2015 at 13:31:
All right, I've been here since Sunday afternoon. Today dad ended his 8 day non-responsive streak, waking up at 4am and keeping my mom continually running around until about 7:30, when she woke me up so I could shower and help her and then take over when she went to radiation. So far he's pretty overly ambitious, wanting to get up and go outside, etc. Instead, he tends to ask for things (coffee, orange juice, etc.) then by the time you get them he's falling asleep and doesn't want them. 
We've had to tell him that anything that involves getting out of the bed (which includes using the bathroom instead of the diaper) will have to wait until my brother arrives around 2. Mom and I can barely get his diaper changed between the two of us when he's out cold, let alone lift him, and we're pretty sure that he no longer has the strength to stand. My brother can actually lift him.
Sneaking a bowl of cereal while he naps since my mom's at radiation so I'm on solo duty.
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Posted by ChrisW on 06-05-2015 at 16:07:
My mom's getting 2 different kinds of radiation. The first is general and pretty quick, about 15 minutes. The joke is that it takes longer to get your clothes off and on and all that than it does to do the actual radiation. The second is Accuboost. She's only getting 8 of those. You have to sit for 45 minutes with your boob in a mammogram vice while getting highly targeted radiation treatment.
She got the last of the Accuboost today and has about 2 weeks left of the regular radiation. Apparently you get presents when you're done with Accuboost. I'd think the present is not having to get your boob squished for 45 mins again! She's got a new tote bag, a nice robe, and a gel thing to heat up and go around the back of her neck.
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Posted by ChrisW on 08-05-2015 at 15:49:
Yesterday about every 2 hours he'd call my brother over and tell something ... the things were "be strong," "be wise," and "Don't do it" ... my brother has the bad feeling now that dad's last words to him will be "don't do it" and it's going to screw him up for life.
After 2 days of dad being kind of with it enough to speak and recognize us, he's back out again. He's got nasty chest congestion, you can hear it when he breathes, so we've got him on his side and the head of the bed elevated. Mom gave him some "secretions" medication that's supposed to help with the congestion as well. If that doesn't work, after talking to his nurse, we'll have to start giving him morphine (which is apparently for breathing as well as for pain).
He didn't even make his usual protest noises when we rolled him over onto his other side. :/
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Posted by Reboekah on 08-05-2015 at 23:15:
Yikes!
Hugs hugs and hugs!
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Bird Scramble OE
155 issues - 36.5Years! - and flying high!
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