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--- Chris update (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=4841)
Posted by ChrisW on 13-04-2015 at 02:32:
So whenever I hear my mother's voice going up in octave I go to investigate. I walk into my parents' bedroom and my father is diagonal across my parents' bed, which is not a small bed. My mom's trying to get him moved so that she can actually get onto the bed and, you know, sleep, so she can get up early to go to her radiation appointment. My father, however, has been in a bit of a dick mood for the last 2 days and was just lying there not helping or acknowledging the requests. We kept having to haul him around this way and that, him grumping and protesting the entire time, until we finally got him in a position where mom could get into bed!
It's always something. 
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Posted by ChrisW on 13-04-2015 at 12:54:
Dad absolutely refused to take his lactulose last night. Since he was going to the bathroom and having some hemorrhoid issues, mom decided not to push it. Today he's borderline non-responsive. We can give him lactulose with the dropper but he puts up a serious fuss.
Sometimes I wonder at this point if we're giving him the medication for him or us. He HATES the stuff and it's a fight almost every time. (The only time it's not a fight is when he's so out of it that he's not really aware we're giving it to him.) In the last few days he seems angrier about taking it.
Maybe he wants to just mentally check out and not wake up. I don't know. He hasn't said so. The problem with letting him just be non-responsive is that he's weak enough now that it wouldn't take long until he'd be trapped in the bed and unable to get up at all, and I think that would be pure hell to him. That and he'd have to end up in the hospital due to dehydration, etc.
Bleh.
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Posted by Reboekah on 13-04-2015 at 21:54:
Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs!
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155 issues - 36.5Years! - and flying high!
Posted by ChrisW on 13-04-2015 at 22:49:
Thanks ... he's been barely with it enough to get him to eat some and drink at least.
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Posted by ChrisW on 15-04-2015 at 01:38:
Even though he's had both doses of lactulose, fairly early actually, today, he's seriously loopy tonight ... tragicomedy moment, we've been in the bathroom for a while, trying to figure out what he wants, but he doesn't seem to know, and he won't sit down or lie down and he keeps walking into the bathroom ... he starts to pick up a razor, which neither of us thinks is an awesome idea ... mom asks if he wants his teeth brushed, he nods, so she tries to brush them, but he won't fully open his mouth
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Posted by ChrisW on 15-04-2015 at 02:13:
So I'm sitting here doing nothing in particular, mucking around on my computer. My mother was showering and I thought my father was in bed. Then I think I hear a frantic voice, which makes no sense. It stops for a bit, then I think I hear it again. Just in case, I go peek into my dad's room and nope, he's not there. And yup, from there I can hear my mom more clearly, and as I head into the master bedroom, I'm hearing her going, "That's not the toilet! That's not the toilet!"
Uh oh.
So I hurry into the master walk-in closet and find her frantically trying to stop him from shitting on a little stool in there. He's PISSED OFF because he thinks she's trying to think him from using the bathroom, which I suppose technically she is. It took the two of us together to haul him out of there and get it through to him that THIS is the toilet. Yikes.
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Posted by Kritter on 15-04-2015 at 04:16:
Oh Chris, that's both funny and sad all rolled into one. Such is dementia.
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Posted by KT1972 on 15-04-2015 at 07:11:
*Hugs* Chris
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Posted by ChrisW on 15-04-2015 at 17:39:
It's not dementia. It's hepatic encaphalitis (might not have spelled that right). With the liver cancer and hepatitis C his liver can't filter the ammonia out of his body properly. It builds up and overwhelms the brain and makes you hallucinate, get confused, and otherwise be crazy.
The lactulose he takes binds with the ammonia in his body and causes him to poop it out. 
It also becomes less and less effective over time as the liver deteriorates and the ammonia levels get higher. That's what's happening now. :/
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Posted by ChrisW on 15-04-2015 at 21:11:
The hospice assistant came out to give my dad a shower and a shave. He's been so difficult with us lately and he was a saint for her! She has a wonderful, playful manner and I think that must help. He probably also likes that he gets clean when she's here and feels more human. She comes 3 days a week (or offers to come 3 days a week, if he's not doing well a particular day we might tell her not to come).
She also said that he's one of her easier clients (not that the others are difficult on purpose). I don't think she was just trying to be nice. Watching how well it went, he very well might be.
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Posted by Springie on 16-04-2015 at 04:40:
So glad to hear that things went well today, Chris. Sending good intentions and prayers your way...
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Posted by Transmute Jun on 16-04-2015 at 13:06:
I hope you guys can keep your Dad upbeat, Chris!
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Posted by ChrisW on 16-04-2015 at 13:19:
It's kind of an hour by hour thing. Last night he was incredibly confused and needed to go to the bathroom, and it took us an hour to get him onto a toilet and going. He was convinced that the bathroom was somewhere else (who knows where) and that we weren't letting him get to it and use it. At one point we had him sitting on a toilet and he didn't believe us! Then it took a while to get him settled into bed, as he kept saying he wanted to sleep but not wanting to actually go to the bed.
Apparently after I went to bed he threw up all over, poor thing. 
He'd mentioned feeling sick earlier so my mom gave him a nausea pill but sometimes one isn't enough. This morning he's non-responsive, but he's so out of it that my mom easily gave him his lactulose using the dropper like one of the hospice nurses taught us. Hopefully that will help.
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Posted by Becky Rock on 16-04-2015 at 23:39:
Chris, you have so much more patience and stamina than I ever could manage in the same situation. My heart goes out to you and your family.
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Posted by ChrisW on 17-04-2015 at 00:21:
This is going to sound strange, but I was so sick with certainty that I couldn't handle this, and I just kind of ... have. It's not fun and certainly not a bed of roses, but I have. My dad's still non-responsive. My niece and I helped my mom get a diaper on him, that was a new experience.
I guess this is trouble taking compliments. I just don't feel especially strong or anything like that. Just putting one foot in front of the other.
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Posted by KT1972 on 17-04-2015 at 06:52:
It doesn't sound strange to me at all, Chris. Many of us don't know what we're capable of until we're in a difficult situation and just deal with it!
For some, it often takes the observation of a third party to point out how strong/brave we have been. To the individual concerned, they are just doing what needs to be done.
Keep up the excellent work, you'll come out of it a stronger person for the experience.
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Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope. - HELEN KELLER
Posted by ChrisW on 17-04-2015 at 18:10:
Thanks. Last night was a trip and a half. My dad woke up JUST enough to want to get up to go to the bathroom, but he was WAY out of it and something about the delirium had him walking in a very strange way that required all 3 of us (my mom, my niece, and myself) to get him where he needed to go. Let's just say that things happened this time that we'd rather not talk about, LOL.
I'm exaggerating a little but not by much. It could have been far, far worse.
Mom had the senior care people come in today since she had the day off from radiation (everyone does, they're working on the machines). We had a whole 4 hours to run around and do whatever we wanted. Got her some stuff she was looking for, got me a belt and some sunglasses, had a nice breakfast, and picked up a nice lunch on the way home (man I LOVE honeydew bubble/boba tea). That was nice.
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Posted by amethyst on 18-04-2015 at 02:59:
I'll join Becky in applauding your patience and fortitude. I hope that through all of this he is not in pain.
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Posted by Kritter on 18-04-2015 at 05:44:
Don't sell yourself short CW. This is tough stuff you are going through. It's just what you do for the people you love. They would/could or did do,the same for you. That is the beauty of that kind of love you don't think about it you just do it and it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. At least that how I look at it.
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Posted by ChrisW on 18-04-2015 at 20:07:
Thanks guys. No, he has the occasional temporary pain but he's not in serious or constant pain, which is a huge blessing. Went out with a friend today for some sightseeing, then went to her place to play with her menagerie (dogs, cats, rats, snakes), which was a fun change of pace.
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