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Posted by Ebonyswanne on 28-09-2008 at 22:38:
Some of those are really funny... Maybe its just to amuse the tourists...
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Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up- Pablo Picasso.
Posted by saturn on 29-09-2008 at 06:41:
Aww, thank you so much for the well-wishes, guys!I am feeling so much better now, and I am happy to be back in this board. 
Thank God it was just a common fever. I would definitely not want to have any sickness that would make me have to enter the following hospitals, 
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Posted by saturn on 29-09-2008 at 06:51:
Since that it looks like you all are enjoying the previous pics that I posted, perhaps I share a little bit more pics for you all here.
China's economy is booming right now. Mostly because of the rigorous economic policies implemented by the government, but I have a suspicion that the booming economy could also be caused by the fact that the Chinese set prices on everything, and I really mean EVERYTHING!The below pics prove it.
There is definitely a price to pay if you want to become someone's kid in China,
Could you believe that the actual translation should have been "Admission ticket price for both adults and children is 5 Yuan"?
The Chinese also charge you money even though you wash your hair by yourself alone in a Hair Salon,
The actual translation of "Alone Wash" should have been "Wash and Set Service"(without blowdrying)
The Chinese wants you to pay for something out of the dump, hehe.
How about paying for some cuttings from the trash bin, ?
The Actual translation for "Steamed Bin Cuts" should have been "Slices of steamed buns"
The Chinese also like to emphasise that nothing is free in this world
Don't worry though. In spite of all the above pics, The Chinese is still the best place to shop because like what is written in the below message , China is a "reasonable" country (and indeed it is, )
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Posted by saturn on 29-09-2008 at 07:08:
Some of you in this board might have been wondering how I got my smutty mind in the first place. 
Well, it could be because I have been exposed to all the signboards and product brand's names in China like these, shown in below pics.
NOTE: If any of the pics below is considered too inappropriate to be posted in this forum, please let me know and I will remove it immediately.
The "C-word" should have been translated as "Valve"
The actual translation should have been "Inner Passage"
Could you believe that the actual translation should have been "Mind Your Head"?How the Chinese was confused between "Head" and "Crotch" is beyond me, !
This is a signboard for a boutique, how lovely, !
I definitely feel amorous whenever I am at this street, !
The actual translation should have been "Passenger Dropoff Area"
The "C-word" in this message was actually referring to a meeting among 3 regions, !
This is the name of a food, but I am sorry, I am not really sure how to translate the Chinese Characters into proper English.FYI, there is no reference to the "S-word" in the above Chinese Character at all.I have no idea how they could think of using the "S-word"
The actual translation of the menu "Deep Fried V....." should have been "Marinated Duck Tongue". How the Chinese got confused between "The V-word" and "Tongue" is beyond me, !
Finally, the below sign said it all. The Chinese always try to free their country from any signs of vulgarity, ah, the irony,!
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Posted by saturn on 29-09-2008 at 07:26:
Now all of you might be asking "How on earth did the Chinese come up with such "creative" English?"
Part of the blame could be put on below sources, which should have taught the Chinese the right way of using proper English.
The below pics are definitely my most favorites of all. These are the pics of a novel, claiming to enable us to master English after reading it.
The pic of the author is purposely blurred to protect the identity of this innocent man, !
In case you are wondering, the actual translation for the novel's title should have been "The Pros and Cons of Extramarital Affairs". Wait, there are good points of extramarital affairs???, 
. This book is a definite must read, especially if you want to improve your English. I am sure you can find many interesting vocabularies inside, !
This is the pic of the back cover of the novel
I have to admit that the financial reward is very very tempting,!
What do you think, guys? Should I write like, a steamy love-triangle fic centered on Ken,Joe and Jun(it definitely fits the theme of the novel) and redeem my USD 100?
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Posted by Springie on 29-09-2008 at 09:16:
Oh, these are priceless! More great stuff, Saturn!
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Posted by shamrokchick on 29-09-2008 at 12:23:
More great stuff, Saturn! Yes, you should redeem your 100 USD 
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"They say the Titanic sank because it hit an iceberg, but that must have been Galactor's fault too." 
Posted by Transmute Jun on 29-09-2008 at 13:32:
Saturdn, those are great! And yes, get your $100! If you want, use my Ken and Jun smut and send me the $100! 
Just so you know, we have 'kiss and rides' here too. The idea is that someone drops off their partner at the train station and kisses them goodbye. But ITA, I've always thought it was a weird name...
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Posted by clouddancer on 29-09-2008 at 14:06:
Great stuff Saturn.
I understood the Kiss and Ride Sign Saturn. That is what we call it at school. It is the most dangerous duty a teacher can take on; with parents whizzing in and out and children hopping out of cars without looking at what is coming up behind them.
I know of at least one teacher who was hit by a car while doing a duty in this area. The parent claimed the sun was in their eyes and they could not see the orange vest or stop sign.
Anyways, sorry to go off topic, please keep posting your great pictures.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Posted by saturn on 30-09-2008 at 07:52:
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TJ & CD,
Thank you for the clarification on the Kiss&Ride sign, I have no idea that the sign is also used in the US, hehe, but I can see the idea behind the message in the sign now.
CD, do you mean that a teacher in America is also responsible to control the traffic at school and pick up the student personally at the drop off area?If that is true, then I will have to give props to all the teachers over there. At my place, the above duty is performed by the school's security guards. It will be too dangerous for a teacher to do this duty, there are way too many reckless drivers at my place, and I don't think that the school would want a teacher to risk his/her life for that,
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Posted by Springie on 30-09-2008 at 09:17:
We don't control the traffic at my school...but we do have a Security guard that helps with it...also, the Assistant Principal is out on the bus ramp with some of the Teacher Assistants watching the kids get off the buses...all of the teachers are expected to be in their classrooms and ready at that time...
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Posted by clouddancer on 30-09-2008 at 13:11:
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I am actually in Canada Saturn, so I can not really talk about America, but I think it is the same.
Here in Canada once the Children are on school property then WE, the teachers, are responsible for the children. The crossing guard on the street is hired by the city, but any "security" on the school property is handled by teachers or the Principal (in elementary schools) - this includes the parking lots, bus lanes and the public bridge across the corner of the school property.
Of course most school do not have all these access routes to their schools - we have an unusual situation with that bridge. It is considered public right of way and maintained by the city, but they do not examine it every day (especially in the winter) so we end up having to maintain it free of ice for the security of the children (and parents) crossing to bring their children to school.
And there ends Clouds lesson of security in my school, at least the outdoor safety for the arrival and departure of students.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Posted by Transmute Jun on 30-09-2008 at 13:17:
FWIW, at my kids' school there is a crossing guard (paid for by the city) and there are usually 2 or 3 school employees who are directing traffic n the dropoff lane. The Principal does it a lot, also my DD's teacher is usually out there! The other teachers are doing playground duty at various parts of the day, so I think it just rotates and people have some leeway in choosing which outdoor duty they want.
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Posted by shamrokchick on 30-09-2008 at 18:08:
It's been a long time since elementary school, but here in the suburbs the bus pulls right up to the school and drops the kids off so there's no crossing on the road or parking lot. I know somebody's out there watching but don't know one. One one the school's I went to had a "safety patrol" on the bus who made sure everybody got on and off safely. That school was in a town though.
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"They say the Titanic sank because it hit an iceberg, but that must have been Galactor's fault too."
Posted by saturn on 01-10-2008 at 08:06:
Dear Springie,CD,TJ and Shamrokchick
Again,thank you so much for the information on the drop off system at school at your place. I am impressed by the tight security measures implemented in the west for the safety of the students, something that sadly is still rarely seen at my place here, 
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Posted by saturn on 01-10-2008 at 08:15:
Well now, to end this thread, why don't I share this joke with you which is currently very popular at my place,
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied " It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor. It was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same." Replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies " Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
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Posted by saturn on 01-10-2008 at 08:20:
And how about some parting song to end this thread?
Why don't you all take a look at this video in Youtube to watch a crazy sparrow (no offense to Jinpei's fans, ) singing "Still Loving You" by one of my most favorite rock bands, Scorpions.
The video is made by a Korean animator named Jino Kang, again, to give you all here a taste of Asian sense of humor,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKX0ZzUtA8
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Posted by lborgia88 on 01-10-2008 at 11:51:
I'm inclined to think the sparrow gets what he deserves, mangling the song like that! 
I actually saw the Scorpions in concert once, in 1991.
Posted by lborgia88 on 01-10-2008 at 11:53:
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I hadn't heard this joke -it's a good one!
Posted by Transmute Jun on 01-10-2008 at 13:28:
That was a great video, Saturn! 
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