Gatchamania.net (http://www.gatchamania.net/index.php)
- [Speak Up!] (http://www.gatchamania.net/board.php?boardid=500)
-- Rant! (http://www.gatchamania.net/board.php?boardid=23)
--- Entertaining rant (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=87)
Posted by meridianday on 19-04-2004 at 21:33:
Entertaining rant
Well, satire, from Terry Jones of Python fame
--------------------
Everyone agrees that President George Bush's lobotomy has been a tremendous success.
Dick Cheney, the vice-president, declared that he was fully satisfied with it from his point of view.
"Without the lobotomy," Mr Cheney told the American Academy of Neurology, "it might have proved difficult to persuade the president to start wars all around the world without any good pretext. But the removal of those parts of the brain associated with understanding the outcome of one's actions has enabled the president to function fully and without hesitation. Even when it is clear that disaster is around the corner, as it is currently in Iraq, the chief executive is able to go on TV and announce that everything is on course and that he has no intention of changing tactics that have already proved disastrous.
"I would like to commend the surgeons, nurses and all involved with the operation," said Mr Cheney.
Similarly, Donald Rumsfeld regards the surgery as an unqualified success. He writes in this month's American Medical Association Journal: "The president's prefrontal leucotomy has successfully removed all neural reflexes resistant to war-profiteering. It is a tribute to the medical team who undertook this delicate operation that, no matter how close the connection between those instigating military action and the companies who benefit from it, the president is able to carry on as if he were morally in the right."
Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy secretary of defence, is also delighted at the beneficial effect that medical intervention has had on the president. "Just imagine how the president might have responded to Ariel Sharon's crazy schemes if we hadn't had the foresight to take out the neural pathways normally connected with perception and understanding," Mr Wolfowitz told a meeting of the Association of Muslim Neurosurgeons For An All-Jewish Israel. "The president is now capable of treating the man responsible for the massacres at Shatila and Sabra as a decent human being, whose advice on how to deal with the problems of Israel is worth not only listening to, but also taking."
With all this acclaim for the US president's lobotomy, it is scarcely surprising that Tony Blair, should have decided to follow suit and undergo similar psychosurgery.
Thanks to the inhibition of specific presynaptic terminals, Mr Blair now appears to feel totally comfortable giving his support to the US massacre in Falluja and to the activities of US snipers who have been so busy in that city shooting women, children and ambulance drivers in revenge for the murder of four mercenaries.
It is also believed that intervention in the motor speech area of his cortex now enables Mr Blair to describe Iraqis who respond negatively to having their houses blown up as "fanatics, extremists and terrorists".
Similarly ablation of the oculomotor nerve means that Mr Blair is now able to see Israeli plans to retain Jewish settlements in the West Bank as a big step forward in the Middle East peace process.
What has come as a complete surprise, however, is the recent revelation that Mr Blair's brain surgery may even predate President Bush's. For without the removal of large portions of his cerebellum, it is hard to understand how the British prime minister could have turned down Mr Bush's no-strings offer to keep British troops out of combat in Iraq.
Political commentators are thus finding it impossible to say whether it is Mr Bush or Mr Blair who has pioneered the use of executive lobotomies in the war against terrorism.
· Terry Jones is a writer, film director, actor and Python
__________________
Mallanox : "My mother was Irish and my father was an alien. I was an only child and I dress funny." Posted by Elvin Ruler on 20-04-2004 at 01:59:
*snicker* It's hard to argue against such well written humor. That's hilarious. 
__________________
What if there is a spoon? 
Posted by imaqtz on 21-04-2004 at 15:52:
Humour?..I thought It was for real.. 
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 21-04-2004 at 16:12:
Well...it's funny...so it's humor...
Who said life can't be funny. So long as you don't take anything seriously, life is hilarious!
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by CricketBeautiful on 26-04-2004 at 20:00:
got enough in it that's real that we can laugh or cry, and the rest of it mirrors something real.
Yep, don't have enough tears. Gonna go with the laughter.
Cricket
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Posted by Firebird on 28-04-2004 at 07:00:
*ponders these strange words*
Life?
Serious?
*looks around*
Nope not here
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned 
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 28-04-2004 at 12:46:
Huh? I swore there was something like those around here a minute ago. *starts shuffling through clutter* Hmm...you might be right. How odd.
*continues shuffling*
Nope, not here. I guess we're just insane then.
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by Firebird on 29-04-2004 at 06:47:
No guess about Elvin, Its a requirement and why we have so much fun. 
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 29-04-2004 at 15:45:
Oh yeah, now I remember! Sorry about that. Apparently my head injuries are catching up with me. 
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by imaqtz on 30-04-2004 at 17:16:
To quote Tengu in another thread ...
"Snerk"
<love that word!>
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by Firebird on 30-04-2004 at 17:32:
its ok Elvin maybe you just need a frisking session to help soothe those injuries
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 30-04-2004 at 17:35:
Er, no that's ok...*backs up slowly* I'm more of a...um...spectator...yeah...
*continues to back away*
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by Firebird on 30-04-2004 at 17:38:
Elvin
Faint heart never won fair maid
*walks purposely towards Elvin and pounces knocking us both to the floor*
Imi more frisking!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 30-04-2004 at 17:44:
*struggles, trying not to succumb to laughter*
Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!
*starts tickling Firebird*
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by Firebird on 30-04-2004 at 17:48:
*giggles tickling Elvin back*
GROUPTICKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 30-04-2004 at 18:50:
Woohoo! *reaches out and grabs Imi's leg, pulling her in to the chaos*
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by imaqtz on 02-05-2004 at 16:59:
OOMPH!!.
GRIN
Makes ya wonder why we havent used the Rubber Room yet theres so many group frisks happening at the moment on different threads on the board!
WHOO!
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by Cep on 02-05-2004 at 18:11:
now then, now then.
We've had reports of random tickling in this thread and its before the watershed....now come along people...move along...nothing to see here.
__________________
Thanks Cep
Gatchamania.net Administrator 
Posted by Elvin Ruler on 02-05-2004 at 22:34:
Hahaha....er...hello officer...
Nope...no tickling here...
Aw, forget it!
Get him!
__________________
What if there is a spoon?
Posted by Cep on 03-05-2004 at 09:48:
What? Nooo..
__________________
Thanks Cep
Gatchamania.net Administrator
Powered by: Burning Board Lite 1.1.2c © 2001-2004 WoltLab GmbH
English translation by Satelk
Site Coded by Cep