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--- Getting the Bird (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=4559)
Posted by ElectricWhite on 30-03-2014 at 00:37:
Getting the Bird
When I was a kid, Tuesday's date meant quite a bit to my schoolmates and me. With that spirit in mind, I jotted down a little something I hope you enjoy!
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Susanna, the owner of Petopia, sighed as she stared at an African Grey parrot as he preened himself on a perch. El Garabato, the parrot, had just been returned....for the seventh time.
El Garabato was a good-looking, intelligent parrot. His problem was that he had a very foul mouth. His cursing was so extreme for even Howard Stern or Ozzy Osbourne to tolerate.
Susanna was at her wit’s end. She couldn’t sell the bird, and the bird rescue and placement charities couldn’t deal with the parrot’s problem. She couldn’t even give anybody the bird. And every attempt to change his behavior only resulted in him becoming even more vocal. She couldn’t keep him – his filthy vocabulary drove customers away. What would she do if she can’t find a home for El Garabato?
Just then a boy from down the street came in.
“Hi, Jinpei.” she said.
The boy stopped as soon as he saw the parrot. “Is that –?”
“It is.”
“You should’ve called him Boomerang!”
El Garabato let loose with a barrage of swear words. Susanna promptly took him to the back of the store. Even though his voice was now muffled, his words were still clear.
“I don’t know what to do, Jinpei.” Susanna said as she re-entered the front of the store, “If I can’t find a home for him, he might end up being euthanized!”
The boy’s jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide. “Oh no! We can’t let that happen!” But then an idea struck. “How ‘bout you let me take him for a few days? Maybe I can get him to straighten up and fly right!”
Jun, understandably, was not pleased. How many times did she lecture and yell about Jinpei bringing animals into the Snack J? Well, since that didn’t work, maybe it’s time to try a different tact.
“What if we’re called away on a mission?” she asked, “El Garabato could starve.”
“I’ve already arranged for one of Hakase’s secretaries to take care of him.”
Damn. “Well, Jinpei,” Jun sighed as no new ideas came, “this is not his forever home.”
“Of course not, Neechan.”
“And he can not leave your room for any reason.”
“All right, Neechan!”
After two days Jinpei had gained a new appreciation of Susanna’s ordeal. El Garabato showed no signs of relenting. In fact, there were times the parrot seemed to relish Jinpei’s frustration....at 2:30 in the morning, for example, when the boy was deep in a dream where he discovered a new species of dung beetle behind the refrigerator. At one point Jinpei had even begun to wonder if Jun felt this way the last time she tried to get him to cut down on the cussing.
If there was an upside, it had to be in the fact that El Garabato was multilingual, so the Swallow would now know when the locals in another country were saying rude things about him.
Jun had gone out to do a little shopping when it happened. “Okay, El Garabato!” Jinpei cried as he opened the door to enter his room. The parrot flew past his head and darted downstairs, swearing and laughing as he went..
“Hey! How’d you get out of the leash?!” Jinpei raced after the bird, letting out a few of his own choice words.
“¡Eres un comemierdo, Jinpei!” the bird cackled as he zipped into the Snack J’s kitchen.
El Garabato fluttered just out of reach as the boy repeatedly jumped into the air in a futile attempt to grab the parrot.
“Dammit!.....Stupid bird brain.......COME HERE!”
Finally, the bird came to rest on a counter by the freezer. Acting on his anger and frustration, Jinpei snatched the parrot off the counter and threw him into the freezer. El Garabato, true to his nature, squawked out every bad word in every language he knew.
But then, suddenly, there was silence.
“Oh no.” Jinpei gasped, “What did I do?” He opened the freezer door, fearing the worst.
El Garabato flew out of the freezer, went over to the sink, and perched on the spigot. “Sir,” he said, keeping his eyes cast down, “I realize I’ve behaved very inappropriately. I give you my solemn word as a parrot that I’ll never ever use bad words again.”
“Well,” Jinpei didn’t hide his surprise, “that’s good to hear!”
The bird shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “Um, Sir, could you answer a question for me?”
“Sure.”
“What did the turkey do?”
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“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury
Posted by KT1972 on 30-03-2014 at 00:50:
Love it EW
(Although having to keep translating the Spanish is a bit of a pain sometimes 
)
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Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope. - HELEN KELLER
Posted by ChrisW on 30-03-2014 at 00:51:
LOLOL
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Eagle Whisperer
Posted by ElectricWhite on 30-03-2014 at 00:55:
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Well, in this case, you could have gone with the assumption that the parrot was saying something nasty!
__________________
“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury
Posted by Becky Rock on 30-03-2014 at 20:19:
That was great, EW! I guess that would scare a parrot straight.
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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers so far...
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