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Posted by imaqtz on 20-12-2004 at 17:56:
ACT YOUR AGE!!
My near 16 year old daughter truly scares me at times.
Whereas some kids will have tantrums, slam doors, locking themselves inside the sacred sanctity of their bedrooms, cursing their parents, after being refused to extend curfew hours at their first party past 1am, *my* daughter sees fit to involve us in a near two hour debate on the issue then bash her frustrations at the injustices incurred by adolescence and age limits on her keyboard.
Whats scarier are the issues and real frustration and anger, raised in this "rant" which she emailed to me after our two hour debate . It worked. , and a compromise was reached eventually.
Apart from having solved the curfew prob,( and the fact I coudlnt help admiring, even in an jawdropping way ,her depth of maturity and use of language, which is something that not even I have mastered yet!), her "rant " really did make me think..
made me think about "acting your age"
Do you act your age? Should age restrictions apply to laws of society? when are you considered too young or too old for certain situations?
hmmm.. I share with you my daughter's rant..if you can share your thoughts on this?
********************
In a society where 40 has become the new 21 and you are never too old to live out your youth, have we somehow made it impossible to determine and define maturity, and can we still base it on the sole premise of age?
When you are a teenager there are so many of life’s little niggling unexplained and incredibly confusing mysteries which you apparently will never completely understand until you are “older”. You are constantly thrown phrases like “that is so typical of you-being a teenager and all...” and “you’re simply not mature enough yet”. However when exactly are you ‘mature enough’? What exactly is that magical age you hit and instantly grow wiser, more responsible and incredibly mature beyond belief?
It is commonly thought that you hit this magical age and officially become what society prefers to refer to as ‘the adult’. Unfortunately however, I cannot help feeling somewhat confused. Just looking around I find myself questioning just how much truth lies behind this statement.
You apparently begin the ‘transition into adulthood’ at the ripe age of 18 and you are officially an adult at 21. But can you honestly base maturity, wisdom and the amount of acquired common sense on nothing more than age? This seems hardly fair, and furthermore seems a little like the ‘adults’ are constantly getting the upper-hand.
Being an adult means being allowed to drink, drive, raise a family, and get married, and sustain and maintain a suitable career. It seems however, that in our society new privileges are being added to this already lengthy list. The “adults” of our day are able to; stay in school and qualify for a university degree even at the age of fifty, date the younger breed of the opposite sex without any humiliation, listen to modern music as if it were their own and carry on as if they were still the same ‘hooligan teenagers’ just like we were all “back in their day…”.
The teens of our day are becoming more and more confused. With the number of mothers going out to buy naval rings rising at a scary rate, and 40 year old fathers becoming regular members of nightclubs in the city also on the rise, it seems as though it is in fact the child who is made to be the “adult” in some situations. But is generation x truly to blame for the sheer fact that they were all unable to live out their youth? How long has this cycle gone on for? And more importantly how much longer will it continue?
How can we as the teen ever get it right? We are the adult when you need us to be there to cook or to stay home or to think about grocery shopping but when we wish to have a taste of the more favourable and glamorous image of being ‘the adult’ we are shut down completely- Such a contrast to the way of life for the adult of our society. Permitted to indulge in the lifestyles of both the rebellious adolescent and yet also able to have fun with the great privileges that come from being so much more “wise” and “mature”.
It seems as though this is indeed a fight which is impossible to win let alone completely comprehend. And so, I personally bow down to all of the “adults” out there. Congratulations, you’ve managed to stump us all and then when we dare question one of you about the ever confusing other dimension which is adolescence in comparison to adulthood you bar our question and simply reply us with a witty line like “your just a teenager, you will understand once you are older”.
But I have successfully managed to uncover these truths and unmask all of your lies and now I wait as I sulk and whine in my dark room, overally polluted by angst and “teen spirit”, for the pack of adults to come in and kill me for now I know too much, and yet surprisingly…am not satisfied not even a little.
*sigh*
*sulk*
*puts on an angry angsty type song and slowly gets into the routine of banging head against the wall*
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by meridianday on 21-12-2004 at 11:42:
Ah, you've raised her too well... there'll be no winning an argument with her ever again if she can reason like that.
__________________
Mallanox : "My mother was Irish and my father was an alien. I was an only child and I dress funny." Posted by Ashke on 21-12-2004 at 18:12:
She obviously put alot of thought into her argument! I hate to tell you this Imi, but it sounds like your hooped! Good luck when she decides she wants a car!
Posted by Lux on 21-12-2004 at 21:46:
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Tell her that when she'll be 35/40 and in all the shops (especially the most on fashion) she will find only things good for Britty Spears
, she'll begin to understand why "adults" today (and tomorrow) appear to be so "teens"....
Posted by imaqtz on 22-12-2004 at 14:14:
LOL!..I dont have to tell her, I already showed her this thread!...
Im done for (gulp!>...you should have seen the biggest grin on her face ! Drat it.
Daughter ..Uno...Imi...Nada .
(starts saving da pennies for daughters future car)
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by Firebird on 23-12-2004 at 12:28:
Never mind Imi.
Could always revert to the old age one of you are consider old enough when:
1) You are old enough to vote in national/local elections.
2) You are LEGALLY old enough to drink alcohol.
3) You are working and can afford to buy your car etc and deal with the consequences of that late night out when you have work in the morning.
I am sure other Gatch members can think of lots more.
Never give up Imi the wonderful thing about being a parent is when the tantrums turn to discussions as oppose to having to write things down to get your view point across.
__________________
Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned 
Posted by imaqtz on 23-12-2004 at 14:49:
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umm, seems then I've yet to reach adulthood or maturity.
* Grins at 1.34am when there is an 8.15am start for work in less than seven hours*
Actually I would have said adulthood is when you take life's events with a shrug and half smile and can sit with a sage Yoda like look on face without over reacting to the injustices and boundaries of society.
Actually its when you dont give a stuff about what society thinks, dont worry so much about how you appear to others, and can take the responsiblity and accountability of your actions without being defensive or blaming others.
er....like I said..seems then I've yet to reach adulthood OR maturity.
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by Ashke on 24-12-2004 at 07:25:
S'okay Imi, Im a firm believer that you're only as old as you act! Unfortunately, that would make my daughter around 49 years old. *sigh* It's hard living with a 10 year old whose I.Q. is higher than mine.
Posted by imaqtz on 24-12-2004 at 16:41:
LOL!!.. I know what you mean...whatever you do however,..DONT ever acknowledge that fact in front of them.!
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
Posted by CricketBeautiful on 03-01-2005 at 19:02:
bit random, but some thoughts:
Oh, Imi, you made that fatal mistake of encouraging her to use her brains, listening to her, and giving her alternatives to tearing things apart when she doesn't get her way.
My grandmother apparently believed that 21 was magic. Not that she assumed that aging was sufficient -- she did teach her kids thtools -- but at 21, they suddenly 'passed'.
Good point about the adults doing youth things. "Do it now while you still can," just doesn't mean the same thing.
Though, to me, adulthood means your responsibilities affect others who can't pick up if you drop, and they don't stop at summer break.
There's always the tallk show guest daughter, age 15: If you had trusted me more, I wouldn't have *had* to take the car on that 1 a.m. joy-ride with my boyfriend last month that ended up in the ditch.
Face it, ladies, Little Imi's got perserverence, a good, safe way to both let off frustration and get her piont across, and brains. And a safe place to fine-tune them before she has to rely on them without the safety net.
I think adulthood begins when you hear your mother's voice in your ear, acknowledge that it has some merit, adjust your self-made safety net in case she was right, and then make up your own mind, and, even if you make the same decision she would recommend, you still see it as your decision. It includes realizing that 5 hours of chores a week, on top of schoolwork,
Maybe it's the first time you watch someone younger than yourself
try to explain to her that a year or two will make a big difference in how she sees it -- how does this apply to curfew?
hey, my 6-year old is old enough not to get too upset when his little sister acts her age and insists on playing her way, bot thinks it incredibly unfair that he has to set the table.
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Posted by Ashke on 07-01-2005 at 04:50:
Hell Cricket, even I think it's unfair when I have to set the table, ofcourse I'm usually cooking and washing the dishes and clearing the table too. *sigh*
Too late for that Imi. Unfortunately the school psychologist told her when they got the results. Bad news, she has a psychomotor and short term memory disability, or something like that (Why can't they just explain this stuff in plain english?).
Good news (for her) She now gets all her tests except math orally and I have to write down her homework answers for her. (She's still gloating, little brat.)
Sometimes I hate being a mom.
Posted by CricketBeautiful on 07-01-2005 at 15:15:
Oooh, Ashke, so glad they're actually listening to the results and workign with them!
We had fun with my brother. Some schools and teachers were great. Others? They actually took him out of "resource" because the teacher insisted on giving him penmanship exercises (this was just before PCs came in, but my parents knew he'd always have a typewriter) instead of the extra time and/or person to dicatate tests to. On the other hand, he took typing in summer school before highschool, and would have failed except the teacher talked to my parents and decided that he had worked very hard, and had learned an important life-skill, even if he hadn't met the speed requirements.
Cricket
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Posted by Ashke on 12-01-2005 at 03:41:
You are right Cricket, and I am grateful. I just wish they'd done it back in grade 2 when we first noticed a problem. Two years of Sylvan Learning Center to get her up to speed was really expensive!
Posted by CricketBeautiful on 12-01-2005 at 19:58:
If the Sylvan system worked for her, it was worth it, esp given the alternatives. Pay now, or pay later. And you'll be able to look back and say you made the investment when it counted, rather than after the damage was done.
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Posted by Ashke on 15-01-2005 at 05:51:
Too true!!! They told me they were amazed she could actually read considering the severity of her disability, however they also tried to blame our early intervention as the reason they didn't catch it themselves.
I guess it didn't help when my daughter told them it wasn't her fault they were morons and should have listened to her mommy and her grade three teacher in the first place. *Sigh* Next Lesson: Tact and Diplomacy.
Posted by eagle_G1 on 18-01-2005 at 10:00:
Have you ever noticed how kids can express themselves better than most adults?
Not that i'm a parent, and after reading the last few posts it is with relief that i'm not.......i have too much trouble organising my own life than having to worry about someone elses.
As for my thoughts on age v's maturity......in my teens and early 20's i was pretty under the thumb, i left the rebelling till late 20's and after. So having a late 20's who has so much more available to her can be more dangerous than a teen who has more controls over what they have access to. My late 20's were pretty out of control by some standards, but then i have friends who are the same age or older going through divorces behaving in a similar way to how i was at an earlier age. Come to think about it, my behaviour came about after a relationship break up too.
Age is a state of mind. IMHO
__________________
Its hard to soar like an eagle........
when your surrounded by turkeys.......
Posted by Ashke on 19-01-2005 at 05:35:
*snicker* Hey, I'm NEVER gonna "mature"!!! that is one word that is way too close to "manure" as far as I am concerned. I will always have the maturity level of a 14 year old and I'm proud of it!
Posted by CricketBeautiful on 19-01-2005 at 14:22:
<offers Ashke room on the couch and some popcorn and puts on some cartoons>
__________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Posted by Ashke on 21-01-2005 at 04:05:
*flops down on couch and tosses Cricket a pop* Cool! Is Inuyasha on?
Posted by imaqtz on 22-01-2005 at 15:39:
OOMPH!..Hey Getoffame!!!
*Growls and pushes Ashke from couch where was lying down watching Cowboy Bebop., snatching remote control back off her*
No Way Im watching Inuyasha!..
*pulls tongue settling back in*
__________________
Shoot first..ask questions later!
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