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--- Karma and Drama Lama's and leasons learnt (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=4185)
Posted by littlewolf on 06-12-2012 at 00:54:
Karma and Drama Lama's and leasons learnt
Okay - It has been a very challenging year (for myself and others)
Please read to end
The short list is this -
My oldest sister had bankruptcy proceeding filed against her and her husband for a court case they apparently lost several years ago - they were going to seize her entire farm (5 generation old) and hold it leaving the bill to mount up doing this weeks for Christmas - it is now been deemed an illegal process because the paperwork was not signed correctly and filed incorrectly - it goes to court again in Feb. But this has not stopped the person doing the bankruptcy proceeding from publically slandering my sister and family
(My older sister is involved in constitutional farming law and rights of the Australian people)
Yes I am very much aware that the government of Australia is not the only government of the world taking the rights of the people away from them.
Another sister fell and shattered the longs bones in her wrist, she has just had surgery, she had a reaction the aesthetic and stopped breathing for a few minutes (spent too much time waiting in hospitals the last few weeks) she now had appointment for the physio every week (not plaster cast just a supportive brace so as not to hinder mobility)
We discovered she has osteo due to porous bones
Another sister has been more off a hindrance than help, so I don't ask her anymore.
Both my parents are now in their 80's so we have had to have a talk to them about - retirement villages, living wills, power of attorneys, and mums driving, what they want us to do if they are unable to fend for themselves
The chain on my St Christopher broke, my pray beads bracelet broke - all within 2 days (sign from above?)
Few deaths and major will health for friends and family
My sister’s health scare (ongoing, I'm still her career and my parents)
Family dramas
Friends dramas (one got evicted because of what her flat mate did and was homeless for several months), her son got involved with drugs and so unpleasant people)
work dramas -I love what I do, but management have not been very sympathetic to the staff with ongoing issues that have not been addressed including security ones, plus they have taken away out staff Christmas party and have amalgamated it into a children and family one which we have to pay to attend, they are now saying no Christmas presents (usually an eski, chair, towel or ham)
People I deal with on a daily basis (customer and general public) seem to be ruder, louder, more crase, vulgar and generally not seem to care how they treat you, or how in your face they get - and you still have to be polite and courteous and after seeing the parents and the people the kids are with you understand, they seem to think they have every right to do what they are doing, without consequences of their actions
Money issues , mounting medical bills, mortgage etc. - I have either very little work were I am almost begging or so much work that I spend more time there than at home - no consistency
Dimples has had a few "meet and greats" that have not gone well - after one overnight stay, we got back a very frightened and traumatised puppy (she did not cope with t the change - the people were lovely) and it cause a few other issued with the rescue group and us over the handling of the situation and took a week before she was not as jumpy - we have decided to keep her and have made it clear to the rescue group.
My muse is till AWOL, which is good and bad cause I have very little time to either write or craft
I am exhausted, mentally, physically and spiritually and have found myself in tears over little things (not usually a crier unless it is about animals or sad movies) - so that’s a big warning sign for me
My parent (I do love them) have been fawning over my ill sister saying that she has been so good to them this last year, asking me what she needed cause they wanted to do something very special for her (this has been an ongoing power play by my dad to pit us against each other)
She pointed this out to my dad who back peddled very fast, she pointed out that I have been the one over there several times each week looking after both them and my sister for the last several years, things have changed slightly - but unfortunalty I stopped expecting them to change a long time ago and see my any differently as a convenience to them.
my birthday was a disaster, a course I had waited aver a year to do (my birthday present to myself, and already cancelled once by the promoters) got cancelled again, except I wasn't told and found myself in the city and at the venue without answers - it has taken 2 weeks, numerous emails and phone called to get a half-hearted response. The family gathering we eventually had seemed about everything else other than the fact we were celebrating my birthday - once again I set myself up for that disappointment
Plus a whole Heap more over stuff
Today’s list is, 1 doctors apt, 1 physio apt, grocery , clean house, do yard, look after ill sister and animals, eventually me.
Okay rant out of the way. (Thanks for reading)
__________________
May the bad things get lost on the way to you door!
Posted by littlewolf on 06-12-2012 at 00:58:
Lessons learnt.
- I don't want sympathy, false words, or lies, I want honesty even if it is raw and uncut, I want to know what I am dealing with, I now understand if people can't deal with things and need to distance themselves, just don't bulshit me about it or bitch behind my back
- I don't need people around me who leach more off my energy than I have to give, I won't support you, rescue or sacrifice my morals ethics or enforce your poor me mentality, it isn't about you, it's all about me and my place in this world
- I don't need to speak or spell correctly to be heard
- You can't always rely on the people you thought you could, but sometimes total strangers can give you the strength you need
- Sometimes it is the most unlikely of person who is there for you
- There are a lot of people out there who are going through bad things, you don't have to give them words or "it will get better blah blah" you just have to be there right by their side
- A hug can help
- Adversity can transcend childhood drama - it will either drive you further away or bring you closer
- I am a lot stronger than I think
-sometimes you do need to run away, even if it is for only a few minutes
-prayers do get answered (even if it is not how you wanted it, but what you actually needed)
- Animals hug and greeting does wonders
- I have sacrificed a lot of myself over the last few years because I has choosing to live someone else’s script for me, off what I thought I was supposed to me - not anymore, I like who I am
- There is always away out of every situation
- I am a good person and I now choose to be there for the people I want to be there for , not because of guilt or obligation, but because I want to.
-Sometimes you have to have a good cry, scream in your car, then you get on with what need to get on with
-things need to be dealt with when you are small, cause they are harder when they get bigger to Wrangle
- do more off the things you love - Now, the more excuses you make, the harder it is to get back to them, until you forget why it is they brought you happiness in the first place
__________________
May the bad things get lost on the way to you door!
Posted by ChrisW on 06-12-2012 at 02:14:
*hugs* 2013 is less than a month away ... here's to a much better new year! Sounds like you were definitely due for a solid rant!
If you're the type who likes ritual/symbolic gestures, maybe print out the first post and as the new year turns, burn the page (in the sink or somewhere else relatively safe) while focusing on the lessons learned.
__________________
Eagle Whisperer
Posted by Lunulet on 06-12-2012 at 02:14:
<3
Here is a virtual hug. 
The last part is my favorite...do what you love!
__________________
"Writing is a struggle against silence." -- Carlos Fuentes
Posted by Transmute Jun on 06-12-2012 at 02:51:
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Posted by clouddancer on 06-12-2012 at 03:01:
I was going to do the same as TJ .
Here's hoping 2013 is a better year for you 
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Posted by KT1972 on 06-12-2012 at 07:48:
some excellent lessons learnt there LW, but imagine, if this last year wasn't that bad, would you have learnt anything at all?
Here's hoping you have a much better 2013 too. 
__________________
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope. - HELEN KELLER
Posted by littlewolf on 06-12-2012 at 15:12:
Thanks everyone xox
I know I am not the only one here who is going through major dramas
So am am lovingly sending everyone out there hugs love prayers and kisses that next year will be less karma filled and more harmoney based
I know I haven't contributed much over the last few months to the posts (and I have so wanted to, I have a notebook with bits of story scribble and half finished drawings) but just getting on and reading what has been posted has been wonderful 5-10 minutes of just for me time
and yes there will be some burning and letting go off the old, have to add a few extra people to the list, forgive and and release ( just got to let go of my anger and disappointment over situations about how I expected them to act, my illusions and expectations are not always based on actual fact)
also yes I have learnt a great deal this year about myself and the world around me, I am still choosing to see the world and the people in it as wonderful, prosperous and good with the occasional deep and steep hole that I seem to find, but I climb out of it more efficiently now.
this years mantra is
God forgive me when I whine
I am blessed indeed the world is mine
I shall pick myself up
and continue to climb
__________________
May the bad things get lost on the way to you door!
Posted by littlewolf on 06-12-2012 at 15:27:
PS for those who choose or not to choose different diety and or beleifs, my beleifs are my on, like your beleif are your own
I may not be a big beleiver in organised religion, but I choose to beleive in something, a higher power , oneness etc
and although I have done some heavy ranting to whoever is upstairs, I need to beleive someone knows what they are doing. (I have appologised for pointing the finger and blaming and I hope they heard)
Sometimes when everyone else is in bed and I are sitting there in the dark, I needed to talk, without the feeling I was burdening them to much, If they heard or didn't I may never know, but on those nights I seemed to sleep more peacefully
PPS as my family has a mixture of beliefs, from atheist, born again, christian, seventh day, Jehovah, salvation army, wiccan, spiritualism etc we figure we have covered most of out bases
blessing all
__________________
May the bad things get lost on the way to you door!
Posted by Daniella T on 06-12-2012 at 17:24:
LW -- here's to 2013 being better and kinder with you!
__________________
They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally, they became heroes -- Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.
Posted by amethyst on 06-12-2012 at 17:31:
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LW, sorry to hear about all that you are going through.
You should never have to apologize for your beliefs, unless of course you are trying to use those beliefs to control others. Otherwise it's all right to wear them on your sleeves and let them guide you in whatever manner you see fit.
I'm not a big believer in organized religion either. I see it as a way to control and in some ways oppress people. I was brought up in a multi-demonimational family much like you, we don't have Jehovahs, but we do have Mormons and Catholics, and I attended SDA VBS as a kid. Jesus was an inspirational teacher, but there have been many before and since him that are often ignored or dismissed. My personal belief is Jesus himself would not be very happy with what many so-called Christians are doing in his name.
__________________
Perspective Alters Reality
Posted by ElectricWhite on 06-12-2012 at 18:22:
LW, I hope that you'll be able to do this in the new year:
__________________
“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury
Posted by Mad Katharine on 06-12-2012 at 20:19:
At a particularly rotten time in my life, a woman very dear to me said: "soon, this too shall pass." I hope situations pass from lousy to awesome
very soon for you.
__________________
-Katharine
Disturbed in NorCal
Posted by jublke on 08-12-2012 at 03:14:
LW, loved this line of yours:
- "You can't always rely on the people you thought you could, but sometimes total strangers can give you the strength you need."
Love this. It's important for me to acknowledge that even if my blessings don't come in the form that I expect, that doesn't make them any less special.
Hugs & best wishes for a better 2013 for all!
__________________
"The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing." -- Blaise Pascal
Posted by gatchamarie on 09-12-2012 at 18:21:
Sorry if I couldn't send you a message earlier, LW! I only read this thread just now and am happy to have done so! I'm happy not because of your misfortunes, but because you found the strength to talk them out, and you seem to already be dealing with them with your resolutions!
I can relate to many things you have pinpointed, so I definitely can understand what you're going through! And, I don't condemn you for ranting with whoever you deem is above us! Since I'm a Catholic (not an obsessed one, though, but very open minded!) I think that being honest with God is the best thing one can do! Jesus was human himself, so He can understand us, as He has tried to let us know with His teachings! Instead of the usual, written down prayers, I find it better to speak with Him at the right moment, and even vent my feelings at the very moment I feel them! You do wrong when you say you're perfect, or a saint! You do well when you admit your imperfections, but do everything to deal with them!
I also always say that most of the problems and heartaches we face are caused by other people's attitude, especially, like you rigthly said, and like Jublke rightly pointed, coming from those whom we trust, or trusted, most! Huh ... I really know the feeling! In fact, most of the help really comes from "total strangers", as you mentioned, and here you can find many ... not that they're "total strangers" any more! Many don't know how a simple exchange of a smile, a simple thank you, or even a simple gesture, such as stopping to let you drive out of a side street when there's traffic, can really make a difference in a person's already lousy day! Only small examples! I'm sorry to hear that people around you are giving you a hard time! Just one small advice from my part, if I may ... don't turn into those other people! Stay the way you are even if you sometimes suffer, and a lot, cause you're a great person and even greater you'll remain than these last!
Sincerely ... may the year 2013 be better for you, and may all the health, or heartaching problems, you have in the family dissipate as the coming days go by!
__________________
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