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--- How to identify an Aussie (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=3114)
Posted by Madilayn on 14-05-2010 at 05:28:
How to identify an Aussie
My best friend wrote this and posted it in her blog. I thought I'd share (if you circulate this, plese credit the writer - Mari Paxford)
(a how-to-guide for International readers)
1. Unusual accent - occasionally mistaken for British or Canadian until flatter vowels are noticed or okkerisms are applied (Struth! Bonza! Bewdy - Havagudweekend).
2. Unique sense of Humour - we do humour well and often - sometimes on the crass level. We are also noted for applying even more humour when the situation is grim. How can you tell that the situation has hit Ground Zero? The Australians in your midst stop the jokes and start saying "She'll be right"
3. Liberal sense of self - the "average" Aussie (ie. not a wowser*) won't usually get uptight about religion or politics. Sure we can discuss both over a barbie and a beer but we have a certain "your business is YOUR business" attitude and allow everyone their own beliefs even if we think you are a raving loonie for having them (unless of course you insist on voicing said beliefs loudly and aggressively after which you'll have your beer cut off and shown the door)
4. How do you tell an Aussie service person? - check HERE for the various shoulder patches. Notice we don't fly our flag in the reverse (I'm still waiting on an easy to understand explanation of why the USA does that - A1S promised to explain months ago but then he got famous. sigh...)
SJ - when you, Flash and Joshie make it to Brissy, Mari is keen to meet you. She believes (as do I) that you would fit in well with our ideas of "normal" people.
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"When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed." -G. Stoddart
Posted by Madilayn on 14-05-2010 at 05:32:
And another little bit from the Digger History site - Murphys Laws of Combat Operaions. I think that this could easily be applied to birds (and goons)
* Incoming fire has right of way.
o If the enemy is in range then so are you.
* Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire.
o If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.
* When in doubt - empty your magazine.
o The easy way is always mined.
* Try to look unimportant- they may be low on ammo.
o Teamwork is essential - it gives them somebody else to shoot at.
* Never draw fire - it irritates everyone around you.
o Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
* Never share a weapon pit with someone braver than you.
o If your attack is going really well it's an ambush.
* No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.
o Remember, all your equipment including your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
* The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
o When you have secured the area don't forget to tell the enemy.
* Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
o If you're short on anything but the enemy - you're in a combat zone.
* The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions -
o when you're ready and
+ when you're not.
* A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
You can find more here
About halfway down is a category called "An Army Doesn't March on its Brains". It's got some actual military instructions there that are a real hoot!! (My favorite involves "Mr Grenade" and the US Marines...)
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"When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed." -G. Stoddart
Posted by SJ_SwanJun on 14-05-2010 at 09:28:
Oh babe .... haha ... thanks for these! They gave me a good morning giggle!!
I have only one little niggly point...
In #2 of the "How to Identify an Aussie"
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Sometimes, babe? Sometimes??? Aussies can find crude in just about everything ... Apparently it's one of the reasons the guys at work like me so much, because I can trip them up on anything that comes out of their mouths ...
heh heh ...
An Aussie also understands that a dirty joke said in the work place is not Sexual Harrassment ... It's actually funny. Little Johnny is our national hero...
An Aussie is also finely tuned in to the Best parts of conversations. We can always filter out the boring bits and manage to flick our attention to the one part of the chat that can be interpreted as lewd -- no matter how innocent it might have been.
That effing happens to me at work EVERY DAY! I swear I only pop my head up at just the right part to raise my brow, grin, and shake my head.
:grins:
I'm looking forward to hitting Brisbane!! I've been away from home for 11 years ...
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Why do men snore when lying on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their butt holes and they vapour lock.
Posted by littlewolf on 14-05-2010 at 12:21:
how to learn our lingo
I found some intersting sites for those wanting to understand our language.
I find it interesting when we are talking to the tourist at work who seem to be bemused and out right baffles by our 'turn of phrase" especially when we talk about " having a thong blow-out',
And Madilayn, you and your friend are right about us sounding British/ Canadian, it's interesting when they try and copy us,good on them for havin a go
http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/language.htm
http://www.aussieslang.com/
Though I have not forgiven Paul Hogan for the "Shrimp on the barbie" saying
and as for our Rudd's "fair shake of the tomato sauce bottle" makes us sound like drongos
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May the bad things get lost on the way to you door!
Posted by tatsunokofan on 14-05-2010 at 15:35:
Hi all!
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All of 30 seconds investigation gives you the answer, from flagpride.com:
This flag is symbolic of the men who used to march into battle with an actual flag. So steady and strong that the flag would blow behind them. On the arms of our soldiers, the flag faces as if being carried into battle, blowing behind them.
James
Posted by Firebird on 14-05-2010 at 15:39:
I stillhave the Aussie slang book I brought back from my hols there. Along with a few other native aussie nick knacks.
I am totally relying on hubby to ensure our bubs knows all about the Aussie side of her dual heritage.
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Like the Phoenix I rise from the fire. Beware all who try to tame me, you may get burned 
Posted by Ebonyswanne on 16-05-2010 at 05:16:
James- Thanks for that bit of information, it brings a significance to wht the flag is displayed in reverse.
Maddy I did have a giggle at some of things you posted, I have a friend who's been in Australia for about 12 months, (Indonesian) She's made comments about certain things that I've had to enlighten her on...
The most recent was "Bring a plate," On an invitiation to a BBQ. She found it confusing and asked... "Don't they have enough plates for the guests?"
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Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up- Pablo Picasso.
Posted by amethyst on 16-05-2010 at 05:21:
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Okay, how close is my guess here: it's potluck and they're asking guests to bring something to share like fruit, salad, veggies, pasta. Bring a dish to share.
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Perspective Alters Reality
Posted by green on 16-05-2010 at 05:29:
You got it, Ame!
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Exaggeration misleads the credulous and offends the perceptive. ~Eliza Cook
Posted by Madilayn on 16-05-2010 at 05:33:
Yeah - I think of all Aussie slang the one that does get the most people is "Bring a plate" - and all the subtlties that it implies.
Even some Aussies get it wrong - it's meant to be bring a plate for each person attending (so if a couple comes, 2 plates of food). Some people bring one plate for a family!
But then - that applies with any pot luck I've found. And many parents absolutely refuse to believe how much their children will eat! I have one set of very dear friends who have a daughter who will eat anything that's sitting there - we'v ehad pot lucks where she's on her third plate of food by the time everybody else is on their first!
__________________
"When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed." -G. Stoddart
Posted by amethyst on 16-05-2010 at 05:35:
Amethyst does happy dance 
years of studying the English language have paid off. My grammar may not be the better for it, but I can understand most regional forms of American English, as well as make educated guesses on Canadian, British, and Australian English languages.
I'm still a long way from Jamaican and many African Englishes, though, but then again, many of them don't even look like what we'd consider English.
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Perspective Alters Reality
Posted by amethyst on 16-05-2010 at 05:45:
I try to have a realistic idea of what my kids will eat, so if I'm bring something to a potluck, I plan their serving and then double or triple it as required (we've been to some with specific directions on how many they want to the dish to serve). For example if I bring something that my kids take three times the normal serving, I us that as my base.
But then, I also know what it's like to go hungry because people don't think about serving size and don't have enough. My in-laws did this over spring break. The fixed meals for six adults (three of us under fifty, and three in their sixties) and five kids the oldest being 17, expecting everyone to eat the same small serving size they'd been eating. After going hungry one night, I volunteered to peel potatoes and my mother-in-law told me I peeled too much. I promised that if there were any left overs, I'd eat them for breakfast. Needless to say, I didn't have any for breakfast.
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Perspective Alters Reality
Posted by Ebonyswanne on 16-05-2010 at 06:21:
Pretty much Amethyst. It was common growing up for us to bring a plate, though rarely did anyone provide less than they should. Lots of country get togethers and parties from childhood and bringing a salad or slice or both was something we always did weather asked to or not.(Since most relatives and friends are happy to so, lots of good cooks in the family and they love to try out each others fave recipe! Take-away food was something we still hardly ever have in our house. Its considered a luxury along with caterers for a party.) We still do it, living in Sydney some people I found got a little offended by it...(some new Australian's I knew years ago, they just have different ideas/traditions on entertaining a lot of guests.) Now I just explain thats very Australian thing to do, sharing with other families and helping make a party less expensive etc... To us its a tradition and its not offensive to ask someone to "bring a plate." The further west I've moved the less I've noticed people worry about it.
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Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up- Pablo Picasso.
Posted by gatchamarie on 16-05-2010 at 12:16:
For us it's different. When something is organised at somebody's house, the host has to take care of everything and supply anything for the guests in order to show that they're welcome ... most people tend to exaggerate things in order to impress though, and that's when I don't like it sometimes, but, alas, it's the trend of most of us! When invited we're used to give gifts to our hosts, such gifts not necessarily having to be included in or be a part of the event at which we're attending.
When we meet friends for a BBQ or a picnic outside our houses, maybe at the beach or at the countryside, we're used to bring our own food ... each family takes care of its own, knowing, more or less, how much their family members eat. We tend to share dips and sweets, though, and even tables and chairs when necessary! But then, there are people amongst us that have other traditions ... as long as everyone is happy and there's no complaint, then it doesn't really matter how things are organised! The most important thing would be that everyone would enjoy the event to the full and would feel at ease and welcome!
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Posted by Transmute Jun on 16-05-2010 at 15:33:
Usually individual people do not do potlucks here. That's more common for community organizations (say, if a school or a church is hosting an event). If you're hosting a party individually, you can ask attendees to 'bring a dessert' or 'bring a beverage' or some such, but you have to ask if you want to expect it. Sometimes good friends will ask 'what can I bring?' if they want to help you out. That is more common if you are hosting a party for someone else (like a baby shower).
But it's considered a bit rude to show up with a completely unexpected food dish (showing up with an unexpected bottle of wine or box of chocolates is okay). If you show up with a dish of food, it implies that you didn't think the host was adequately prepared for the event, or that you were anticipating that you wouldn't like the food. It's the kind of thing that annoying MILs do, and no one else. 
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