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--- GENUINE clips from London Borough Council complaint letters (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=2086)
Posted by meg on 02-09-2008 at 16:34:
GENUINE clips from London Borough Council complaint letters
Someone has emailed it to me some time ago:
These are GENUINE clips from London Borough Council complaint letters
Will you please send someone to mend the garden path.
My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
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Posted by lborgia88 on 02-09-2008 at 18:25:
These are funny, Meg!
Posted by gogirl212 on 02-09-2008 at 18:50:
I needed a good laugh today! Thanks for posting that, Meg.
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There are few problems that a swift kick to the head by a highly trained ninja can't solve.
Posted by Transmute Jun on 02-09-2008 at 20:20:
Ah, sweet smut... the provider of laughs! 
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Posted by clouddancer on 02-09-2008 at 22:20:
LOL
Those were great Meg.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Posted by Ebonyswanne on 02-09-2008 at 23:12:
ROTFL!!!
I could even hear the English accent as I read them. Thanks Meg. 
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Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up- Pablo Picasso.
Posted by shamrokchick on 03-09-2008 at 03:47:
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"They say the Titanic sank because it hit an iceberg, but that must have been Galactor's fault too."
Posted by Springie on 03-09-2008 at 09:24:
These are great!
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Posted by Condorfan on 03-09-2008 at 19:04:
Those are hilarious, thanks Meg!
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Old age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Posted by meg on 03-09-2008 at 21:53:
My pleasure! 
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Posted by Metaliant on 06-09-2008 at 09:16:
Sounds like the complaint letters that Zoltar gets from Mech Captains Of The Week and goons.
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Eagle in Residence
Tempory Frisker
Posted by shamrokchick on 06-09-2008 at 14:17:
| quote: | |
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You're right... I could see them saying all of that
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"They say the Titanic sank because it hit an iceberg, but that must have been Galactor's fault too."
Posted by Metaliant on 06-09-2008 at 21:40:
Zoltar may get letters from the Mech Captains Of The Week like "Why do we have to wear these silly costumes." and the goons may complain about the Health & Safety regulations.
__________________
Eagle in Residence
Tempory Frisker
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