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--- Ste is pissed. Majorly pissed. (http://www.gatchamania.net/threadid.php?threadid=1862)
Posted by Askura on 08-05-2008 at 18:36:
Ste is pissed. Majorly pissed.
So...
I get a brief phone call from my mother last night to stay that shes left my stepassfather and is going to be stopping with my sister for the foreseeable future. Curiosity, warning bells and more than a lil bit of anger make their presence known in my head and I arrange to meet her today.
Over breakfast, she relates the tale.
A while ago, they had a shop. Sandwich shop. Nice lil' place, took some hard work to set up, but she finally started to turn it around and begin earning a profit. So what does he do? He goes and buys another shop one that has never gone well for anybody who's owned it and starts running that badly. Expecting my Mother to work in them both.
Just to be clear here she'd have to get up around five to be at the sandwich shop for half sixish. Work there until fiveish, spend a half hour cleaning, then be up at the other shop for six 'til it closed around half nine. More often than not, six days a week.
To give him his due it wasn't like he was just sat around doing nothing, he worked the night shifty at the factory he's at, and then in the other shop during the day.
Needless to say, this other place was losing money badly. Despite all the work going on, they were getting more and more into debt, and had to make the decision to sell one of the shops.
So, of course, he puts the sandwich one up for sale. Which eventually gets sold on, only for them to be screwed over by the new owners, end up even further into debt to the point that they have to go to court, where the Judge tells them to put their house up for sale and move out, or he'll send the debt collectors in.
This happens fairly quickly. They find a new place going from a four bedroom house with a massive back garden to a smallish two bedroom, five room total bungalow not all that far away, which they have to rent and naturally, none of this is steppassfather's fault in any way. Needless to say, the entire time this has been going on they have been arguing
I just found out today my suspicions of him hitting her were true.
Seems that last Friday they had another blowout, and that over the weekend he's pretty much been ignoring her, going to work and spending the rest of the time on the sofa, and not responding to her offers of food or drink.
Sunday, she goes to visit the sister and nephew. Gets back at some point before eight. Asks him if it's alright if she watches the second part of the program she watched the previous week at which point he apparently goes ballistic at her. She threatens to leave, he tells her to fuck off now.
Mother decides to go into the bedroom for a while to let him calm down, as she's done before Except this time, he follows her in, starts throwing her stuff onto the floor and emptying drawers. Further arguing ensures, and then he pins her to the and starts hitting her, shredding the nightgown she was wearing. Eventually he stops, and she quickly packs a suitcase and leaves.
So she's spent the last few nights at my sister's, where there really isn't the room but what can she do? She's no money at all they had a joint account and he took the cards from her and no current job, though she's been into the Jobcentre today to get things sorted. Also been to some woman's support place, who helped her to go and get her stuff from the bungalow. Already had an interview for a part time job, which she seems likely to get. Housing list is around three months minimum, but with the situation as it is I'm hopeful something can be sorted sooner.
Me? I'm keeping my distance from him for a while. Have better things to do than get arrested for attempted murder right now.
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Posted by Metaliant on 08-05-2008 at 18:42:
I sounds like the police should be involved if he attacked her.
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Posted by Gunman on 08-05-2008 at 18:46:
I would have to agree no man should hit a chick..........
Unless under special cecomstances.........
Posted by Transmute Jun on 08-05-2008 at 18:56:
ITA that you need to get the police involved, Ste. Also, the credit agencies so he can't run her into any more debt. Since they are still married he could run up huge debts and she could be responsible.
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Posted by Metaliant on 08-05-2008 at 19:13:
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Not too sure what you mean about special circumstances Gunnie but I would defend myself agaisnt any attack, whether they were from men and women.
Isn't there anyway she can get her cards back Kimi, so she could get some money out of the bank to start again without that stupid idiot?
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Posted by Askura on 08-05-2008 at 19:19:
The police are involved, but I'm not sure to what extent. They've been called before when he's been throwing tantrums.
As for cash and banks - I'm not sure there *is* anything in the bank accounts. Always short of cash, but he can always afford the stuff he wants...
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Oh, that box. You'll dream about that box: it'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time; brand-new and ancient - and the bluest blue, ever.
Posted by lborgia88 on 08-05-2008 at 19:25:
OMG, Ste. My heart goes out to your mother, and to you. It seems to me that your mother has taken all the right initial steps -moving out, going to a support group, and finding a job. I agree that the police should be involved, and I would think she will need legal advice too.
Posted by stardust on 08-05-2008 at 19:35:
Well Ste, you are a bigger person than me as far as self control goes. I probably would have showed up with a baseball bat at his door and bashed his head in by now.
I hope all works out for you and your Mom. Just make sure she keeps going to that support group, I've seen women go back to their abusers too many times.
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A villain must be a thing of power, handled with delicacy and grace. He must be wicked enough to excite our aversion, strong enough to arouse our fear, human enough to awaken some transient gleam of sympathy. - Agnes Repplier
Posted by Springie on 08-05-2008 at 19:45:
I am so sorry to hear this, Ste...hope things get better soon for you and your mom.
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Posted by Rory on 08-05-2008 at 21:22:
RE: Ste is pissed. Majorly pissed.
I certainly wouldn't have the self-control that you have in a situation like this. I caught my father about to punch my late mom once. It was over a very stupid thing actually. My mom was talking to my dad, and he won't talk to her. He gets into these very bad moods whenever he loses at gambling or when his mistress harasses him for money. My mom lost her temper and threw a pen at him. A PEN, for heaven's sake! And yet, when I entered their bedroom, I saw my dad holding my mom -- who was very sick with a heart condition -- by the front of her dress with his fist raised. I didn't think twice. I punched him.
The others are right in getting the police involved. But I really should think that you should also get a lawyer and file a lawsuit against him and milk him of money.
Posted by Ebonyswanne on 08-05-2008 at 22:26:
Ste... thats a bad situation and it sounded like you needed to get it off your chest. I feel for your mother, it must be devastating to work so hard and lose it all so fast.
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Posted by kimiko on 09-05-2008 at 12:03:
Oh I feel for the both of you...I think your mom is on the right track and kudos to you for being so restrained.
Sounds to me that if there is any $$$ left (sadly though I doubt it) he has probably stashed it away. Yep she needs legal advice right away...because any joint accounts or credit cards she will unfortunately be responsible for. Bancruptcy.....be there done that...it's hell!
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