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Posted by GrumpyGhostOwl on 24-08-2017 at 02:56:

Gatchacollege

I was trawling through some archived files and I found this, which was saved from the buffer of the Gatchamaniacs Gather talker after a particularly silly session one weekend many years ago. Contributors (those to whom blame may justly be apportioned) were Yours Truly, Bobkat, Lew, Dei, Pintail and Tracy. The NTT references hark back to that commercial campaign for a Japanese telco that had a pop group dressed as the Gatchaman characters. Their version of Katse had gigantic teeth.


Gatchacollege Curriculum for the coming semester:


How to catch the G-Member of your Dreams
The Asakura Driving School (Courtesy of Wendy and Katharine)
How to go into Fiery Phoenix Mode and not throw up
How to Survive An Exploding Date 101 (facilitator J Asakura)
How to tell if the woman of your dreams is an enemy agent?
Emotional Suppression For Parents (Advanced Course) - Facilitator Security Chief Anderson
The art of telling off a G-2 and living to tell about it
How to Tell Who Your Friends Are By Cooking For Them - facilitator Swan Jun
Spectran Botany (men only)
The Care And Feeding of Large Invertebrates - facilitator Keyop
Jigokiller Topiary - facilitator Ken Washio (attendees will be required to provide their own gasoline)
How to recognize different Galactor mecha from a very long way away: Number one. Cataroller. Cataroller
Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, and Vice Versa - facilitator Berg Katse
Beginning Hairstyling - facilitator OAV Katse
Creating the perfect Space Burger
Highdiving - facilitator OAV Jun (and not float in the water)
Galactor Recruitment for Amway Distributors - facilitator Berg Katse
Coping With Buoyancy - facilitator OAV Jun
2+2 can equal 5: Courtesy of the ISO scientific group
Anger Management - facilitator Joe Asakura
Large Scale Homicide for Fun and Profit - facilitator J Asakura
Does not Compute - 7-Zark-7
Your New Career in Phone Sex - facilitator Susan From Planet Pluto
Languages: Understanding your pet robotic dog
Creative Optometry - facilitator Kozaburo Nambu with guest lecturer Security Chief Anderson
How to Dress for Success - facilitator OAV Nambu
Gravity Defying Hair: OAV Nambu
Nerds Can Date Too - facilitator OAV Ken
Underwear Modelling 101 - OAV Joe
Creative Architecture - facilitator 7-Zark-7 (destroy your base and keep it, too!)
Identifying Enemy Agents Through Beverage Selection - facilitator G-1 Mark
The Absent Parent - facilitator Red Impulse with guest lecturer Col. Cronus
Finding Your Inner Voice - facilitator G-4 Keyop
So, Your Sibling Is A Megalomaniac - facilitator Mala of Spectra
Animal Fetishism for Fun and Profit - facilitator Berg Katse with guest lecturer Zoltar of Spectra
Zoological Nomenclature - facilitator Jameson Brewer
How to speak in Morse Code - facilitator Keyop
Curative Centrifuging: Kozaburu Nambu
Experimental centrifugal physics - triage 101
Biomedical Applications For Everyday Kitchen Appliances - K. Nambu
Fun with feathers - J. Asakura
Maintaining Contact with Your Inner Child: Gel Sadora
Speaking to Bore - facilitator Ken Washio, guest Ace Goodheart
Maniacal Laughter 101: Berg Katse, guest speaker Zoltar
Decimate Your Way To Fame And Fortune - facilitator Berg Katse
Dating for Busy Ninjas: Princess
Creative Napping - facilitator Tiny Harper Note: bring your own chairs
Transplanting ancient works of art for fun - facilitator Zoltar
Destroying Enemy Bases With the Right Side of the Brain - facilitator G-1 Mark
Bathroom Exhibitionism 101 - facilitator OAV Joe
Advanced Hairstyling: OAV Ryu
How to Get the Male Attention You Crave - facilitator OAV Jun
When not to use the cable - Jason
Surviving Migraine - facilitator G-2 Jason
Stranger Danger - joint facilitators G-3 and G-4
Surviving Your Team - G-3
Ping Pong Predictability - facilitators G-1 Mark and G-2 Jason
Conversations with Dog - 7-Zark-7
The Tao of Zark - facilitators Mark and Princess
Catching razor-sharp objects without personal harm - Ken Washio
Relationship Avoidance - facilitator Ken Washio
Ping Pong Predictability - facilitators G-1 Mark and G-2 Jason
Sound as a Weapon - Mark
Drumming For Revenge - Keyop
Advanced Bomb Selection: Joe Asakura, guest lecturer OAV Jun
Space Travel Without A Ship - facilitator G-2 Jason
Advanced yo-yo skills : Bring your own yo-yo (no explosives!)
Off Road (and On-Mecha) Driving - G-2 Jason with guest lecturer Joe Asakura
The Weapons in Your Make-Up Kit - facilitator G-3 Princess
Chicken Soup for the Alien's Soul - Sosai X
UFOlogy - facilitator Susan from Planet Pluto
Racing stripes can be sexy - facilitator Mala, guest speaker Katse
Negotiating with Enemy Children: Galactor
How Not To Pick Up Women On Trains - facilitator Chief Anderson with guest lecturer J Asakura
How to Dump Women on Trains - facilitator G-1 Mark with guest lecturer K Washio
How to paint secret destruct buttons red - Katse
Creative mecha captain costumes - Galactor
Fighting for Cowards - Various Galactor Captain guest speakers
Goo IS a weapon - facilitator Ryu
Taking care of hairpieces (required for all new Galactor hires)
Rationalising the Irrational 101 - facilitator G-1 mark
Coping with Rationalising the Irrational -facilitator G-2 Jason
When your ship looks like poultry and you are replaced by a bubble gum machine - facilitator Ryu G5
Job security through Insubordination
Avoiding the Truancy board: Guest speaker, Jimpei G-4
Anthropology - Chicken Worship in Advanced Civilisations (requisite for Degree students)
Monosyllabic literature: OAV Joe
Drugs for Fighting: NTT Joe
Rationalise Your Way Through the Military - facilitator G-1 Mark
Dental Care and Your Health - NTT Katse
Exploding Irony - NTT Jun
Coping - When your father dies / comes back to life / dies / comes back to life - facilitator G1 Mark
Posture Perfect: NTT Ken
Advanced Death-Cheating: Col. Cronus
Creative Dying - Getting it Right the 'n'th time - Col. Cronus
Kooky undercover costumes - facilitators Ryu and Jinpei, guest speaker Katse
Owl prefer blondes - Tiny
Sculpture through Jet Blasts: Ken
Quip Your Way Through A Crisis - facilitator J-4 Keyop with special guest lecturer G-2 Jason
Bird Missiles - Phallic symbols or tools of destruction? - Katse
Explosives and Your Self Esteem - facilitator G-3 Princess
Vengeance for Idiots: OAV Joe
Detonate Your Way to Empowerment - facilitator G-3 Princess
Reintepreting Rules For Fun And Profit: Jason
Balancing glasses on your nose - facilitators Nambu and Anderson
The Big Red Button - Power Play and Grappling - facilitators G-1 and G-2
Delusions of Grandeur - facilitator 7 Zark 7

__________________
If you see me talking to myself, just move along: we're having a team meeting.


Posted by ChrisW on 25-08-2017 at 23:45:

This one was my favorite Smile

Jigokiller Topiary - facilitator Ken Washio (attendees will be required to provide their own gasoline)

__________________
Eagle Whisperer

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